My fellow Americans, today is a great day! All over the country, folks like you and me will be getting together at Tea Party protests.

CHICAGO, IL – As tax day approaches, protest “tea parties” rev up to high gear in preparation for nation-wide movements by sending out recipes for a successful tea party.

COLUMBIA, SC – Governor Mark Sanford had the courage to call out the Obama Administration on what everyone else was afraid to say – the Zimbabwification of America!

WASHINGTON, DC – The economic recovery plan put forward by the Obama administration includes an initiative to employ as many as five hundred psychics.

BOSTON, MA – Arch-conservative Rick Santelli plans to throw the world’s most expensive Tea Party to protest of the Stimulus Plan, serving hundred dollar bills steeped in hot water!

I’m madder than a terrorist with a plugged up toilet about Guantanamo Bay!

WASHINGTON, DC – Following a whirlwind romance, President Obama and New Hampshire Senator Judd Gregg have broken off their relationship.

WASHINGTON, DC – A “No Stimulus Bill” petition being circulated by the Americans For Prosperity is gaining strong momentum.

WASHINGTON, DC – Last night, Congress passed a proposed $819 billion stimulus package. At a vote of 244 to 188, the bill passed despite no Republican support.