CAMBRIDGE, MA – Vinny Guadagnino has been hired as guest lecturer at Harvard, Yale and Columbia.

SEASIDE HEIGHTS, NJ – Snooki was on the boardwalk when Irene hit. She was blown away!

NEW YORK – Jionni LaValle popped the question at Distict 36 in NYC and the Jersey Shore star said “Pickles!”

ATLANTIC CITY – Invisible sharks are terrorizing beachgoers on the Jersey shore.

The Jersey Shore Season 4 premiere earned monster ratings – a 19.6 rating among adults ages 18-49 and a projected 118 million viewers overall – shattering all TV records.

LONDON – British women are so desperate for bigger bottoms that they are now taking “Booty Pills” to help out.

VATICAN CITY – Pope Benedict XVI announced that the cast of Jersey Shore will be his guests at the Vatican for a week.

BOCA RATON, FL – Due to the bad economy, many young adults are moving into nursing homes and assisted living facilities.

NEW YORK – MTV won’t be able to drop Snooki in Times Square, so she will be dropped on the Jersey Shore.

LONDON – England was rocked today after learning that Prince William had an affair with Jersey Shore’s Snooki last summer!