Angry Gators protest on Wall Street

In an unprecedented show of organized protest, the well known sewer gators of New York City have marched down Wall Street to express their growing concern with the direction our country’s financial center focuses its efforts.

As America’s government continues to debate how to best balance the national budget and debt through taxation and the cutting of funds, the reptiles ask, “Who is thinking of the creatures that lie beneath the surface?”

It is unclear why the crocodilians have targeted Wall Street specifically. It may be that the creatures aren’t clear on the exact legislative abilities held by these financial powerhouses, or perhaps the downtown area simply has the most easily navigated system of sewer pipes. Either way, they have taken to the streets as the voice of their cause.

While no humans were injured during the march, several were startled to see the creatures wandering out in broad daylight.

Unfortunately, as the gators were protesting without a permit, several arrest warrants were issued. It is unclear whether there are plans for a second protest, though there are rumors that the reptiles are in talks with the Mole people and mutant rat population, and may host a sit-in later this month.

NEW YORK, NY – Macy’s 150th annual Thanksgiving Day Parade drew thousands to New York City yesterday including one unwelcome guest, Manigator.

As members of the Betty Page High School marching band of Amarillo, Texas passed by 58th street, the trumpet section was accosted by a half-man half-alligator coming out of a sewer drain.  At 9:13 am Manigator was clearly drunk, and screaming about the noise upsetting his headache. 

The parade was stalled for seven minutes while police corralled the drunken mutant back into a storm drain. 

Later in the morning the world famous Rockettes took to the main stage on 34th street in preparation for their live televised performance.  Shortly after beginning their signature kickline, Manigator appeared seemingly from nowhere disrupting the routine. 

Spilling a can of cheap beer and slurring his speech, Manigator made passes at several of the “Pretty Ladies!” who scattered from the inebriated mutant.  Cameras deftly avoided the fiasco, filming only the performers who were able to continue the routine.  Eventually one of the disgruntled dancers, angry at losing her face time on nation television, high kicked the lurid hybrid back to the sewer, receiving much applause from the crowd.

No injuries were reported from the incident.  Manigator is wanted by police for disturbing the peace and attempted voter fraud in south Florida.