CAPE CORAL, FL – An alligator was found trapped in a manhole, and mischievous mutant Manigator claims he had nothing to do with it.

Construction workers had stumbled upon the alligator when they removed the manhole cover to check some pipes. Trappers were called, who attempted to lure the gator out with recorded mating calls, but it would not budge.

Officials quickly turned to Cape Coral’s newest resident Manigator for an explanation, who played dumb. It is believed the half-man half-alligator mutant dared his cousin into going into the sewers, but Manigator is adamant about no wrongdoing: “No way, nuh uh, I ain’t (hiccup) never done nothing like that! Billy Joe (hiccup) ended up down there by himself, ain’t got nothing to do with (hiccup) me!”

Although clearly inebriated, Manigator was forced by the Sherriff to help in the removal process. He alone was able to lure the reptile out with homebrewed swamp water moonshine and issues of adult magazine Live Young Gators.

When police warned them not to play near sewers again, Manigator gave him the finger and scurried off into the trees with Billy Joe.

NEW YORK, NY – Bat Boy was spotted taking part in Proposition 8 protests this past weekend.

All across the country, citizens united in protest of California’s Proposition 8 to strictly define marriage between a man and a woman, as well as other anti-same-sex marriage laws that were passed on November 4.

Bat Boy was seen outside City Hall with “PROP 8″ with an X through it painted across his chest. While Bat Boy was unable to convey his feelings through words, he did send his high-pitched squeaks of dissent echoing across the plaza.

Many mutants turned out for these protests. Mutant rights organizers explained that a number of mutants, such as the Manigator, are born from interspecial relations. Legalizing gay marriage is one step closer to allowing these unconventional unions to be officially recognized.

Manigator was not present at the rallies, as he was too busy getting “tore up” with his sewer alligator cousins.