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Tag Archives: senate
DRONES TARGET RAND PAUL
Soon after Rand Paul ended his filibuster on drones, the White House ordered drones to follow the Kentucky Senator.
ELDERLY CITIZENS TARGETED IN NEW ALCOHOL LAW
Older U.S. beer enthusiasts may soon find themselves in handcuffs.
SCOTT BROWN INAUGURATION
WASHINGTON, DC – Scott Brown will be sworn in today, ahead of schedule. CSPAN is expecting the sexiest Senate inauguration ever!
GATES PULLS PLUG ON DEFENSE SPENDING
WASHINGTON, DC – The government has been forced to pull back on defense spending. Secretary of Defense Robert Gates is pulling funding on F22 and Area 51, which is expected to close within the month.
PhD APE TO COUNSEL MCCAIN FOLLOWING HISTORIC LOSS
PHOENIX, AZ – After losing the 2008 presidential election by nearly 200 electoral votes and nearly six percent of the popular vote, Senator John McCain is understandably in very low spirits.
MCCAIN NEGOTIATES BETWEEN ANGELS & DEMONS
GENEVA, SWITZERLAND – Angels and demons have quietly entered into peace talks, thanks to Senator John McCain!
BAILOUT BOY
UPDATE: At a pivotal moment in the nation’s history, America’s newest Deputy Treasury Secretary, Bat Boy, was nowhere to be found. This revelation sent shockwaves through the market and Washington D.C. on Monday.
Where was Bat Boy? He had scurried off to see his favorite band, Vampire Weekend, play a secret show in Brooklyn on Saturday night. He watched and devoured mosquitoes while the nation burned.
