SUPER-SARAH PALIN KNOCKS OUT JOE-TOX

I was as happy as Joe Biden at a Hair Club for Men conference to see Sarah Palin crush Joe Biden in the VP debate last week.  Sarah had me at “Hey, can I call you Joe?”

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BAILOUT BOY

UPDATE: At a pivotal moment in the nation’s history, America’s newest Deputy Treasury Secretary, Bat Boy, was nowhere to be found. This revelation sent shockwaves through the market and Washington D.C. on Monday.
Where was Bat Boy? He had scurried off to see his favorite band, Vampire Weekend, play a secret show in Brooklyn on Saturday night. He watched and devoured mosquitoes while the nation burned.

UPDATE: PALINTOLOGY REVEALED!

BREAKING NEWS!
These drawings were found left behind on Palin’s debate notes last night showing both her belief in what should be taught in schools but also her view on the natural evolution of woman.

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Palin Hackers Expose Bristol's Baby Shower Pics

GIVES DAUGHTER CAMOUFLAGE BABY BJORN MADE FOR HUNTING
After the Anonymous group hacked into Sarah Palin’s personal email account, the group gave Weekly World News exclusive photos of Palin’s secret baby shower for her daughter Bristol.
The photos show the gifts for the unborn baby and mother-to-be included the new Jonas Brothers album, lipstick, rifle ammunition and a special snowmobile-adapted baby seat.

McCain Challenges Obama to a Duel

Presidential nominee John McCain wants fellow nominee Barack Obama to put his campaign ads away and instead settle the election like gentlemen—by having a duel!
The bold challenge, publicly issued by McCain’s feisty Vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin, would spare the American people from the typical smear campaigns and save millions of dollars in citizens’ donations, according to McCain.

Sarah Palien?

Following Sarah Palin’s emergence on the national stage, the blogosphere lit up with reports that Governor Palin does not actually hail from Wasilla, Alaska but from a planet known as Wazeela.
The tiny planet, which is located some 37,000 miles due east from the Sun, is known to be rich with fossil fuels that lie beneath snow-capped peaks.
Internet reports also cited the particularly short 5-month gestation period of Wazeela females as proof that Palin was, in fact, a Palien.