JUNEAU, AK – Sarah Palin has landed the cover of Portfolio’s April 2009 issue with a photo of her wearing a Bigfoot skin coat, and she is not pleased.

ANCHORAGE, AK – Todd Palin vows to jump 25 election booths with his snowmobile on Election Day. Palin believes the stunt will increase awareness and voter turnout in support of his wife’s Vice Presidential bid.

TACONY, PA – At a recent campaign stop in northeast Philadelphia, Governor Sarah Palin used her spiritual powers to heal a young child.

WASILLA, AK – Tina Fey, who has made headlines recently by impersonating Governor Sarah Palin, has gone so far as to lampoon her famous aerial shooting of a Bigfoot.

Racy photos have emerged of Sarah Palin posing with alien beer during her beauty queen days . A young Palin is clearly seen in an advertisement for Old Clandathuu’s Best lager.

MARTINSVILLE, IL. – Bigfoot must be placed on Endangered Species List, and activists lay blame on Sarah Palin!

At a shocking press conference this morning, Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama announced that he has a half-man half-bat half-brother.

WASILLA, AK – Representatives from the McCain Campaign have confirmed that Vice Presidential candidate, Governor Sarah Palin, will spend the Columbus Day holiday on a witch hunt.

WASILLA, AK – Records and eyewitnesses have come to light that prior to announcing her candidacy for the Vice Presidency; Sarah Palin shot a Bigfoot from a helicopter.

A government helicopter was seen flying low over the Chugach National Park with what witnesses described as “a sexy librarian shooting out the side.” Employees at a local bait shop report seeing a similar woman only hours before carrying an infant in a camouflage Baby Bjorn.

I was as happy as Joe Biden at a Hair Club for Men conference to see Sarah Palin crush Joe Biden in the VP debate last week. Sarah had me at “Hey, can I call you Joe?” It didn’t help that Joe-Tox had a look of surprise frozen on his face from the Botox and his recent eyelift.