WASILLA, AK –  Levi Johnston had an affair with Sarah Palin!

Levi Johnston just released his book “My Life In Sarah Palin’s Shorthairs” which reveals a number of new revelations.

But none is more shocking that his description of a two-month affair he had with Sarah in the year prior to her Vice Presidential nomination.

Johnston reportedly says that while he was dating Bristol, Sarah kept hitting on him and eventually, he succumbed to her advances.  They had a heated six-month affair, which happened before Bristol or Sarah became pregnant.

“Oh, everybody knew Levi and Sarah were hooking up,” said a friend close to a friend that lived near Levi said,  ”she was hot and Levi just went for it.”

In his book, Levi explains that a lot of the public hatred that Sarah Palin has for Levi is due to the fact that she is “probably still in love with me.”

Johnston in his book reportedly says that he was the one to break it off with Sarah Palin because he “didn’t feel right” doing both Sarah and Bristol.  ”I have morality,” Johnston reportedly says in the book.

Soon after Levi broke up with Sarah, she got pregnant by Todd.  And then Bristol got pregnant and… the rest is history.

Levi Johnston’s book, “Deer in the Headlights: My Life in Sarah Palin’s Crosshairs,” directly contradicts much of what both Sarah Palin and Bristol Palin have been saying in public.

Johnston’s tell-all, due out Sep. 20 is a response to ex-girlfriend Bristol Palin’s book “Not Afraid of Life: My Journey So Far,” released last June.

Some of Johnston’s other revelations are said to include the following:

• Bristol claimed that the two first had sex on a camping trip while she was highly intoxicated on wine coolers. Johnston’s book argues that the two were sexually active well before the trip and Johnston would often curb Bristol’s drinking as it made her “lose her judgement.
• Bristol and Levi first had sex in the women’s locker room of the high school gym.  Levi was sober, but Bristol was plastered on Robitussin.
• Bristol was jealous of Sarah’s pregnancy with Trig and sought to retaliate by getting pregnant herself.  Levi tried to stop Bristol from letting him impregnate her, but she overpowered him.
• Upon hearing the news of the pregnancy, Bristol’s father, Todd Palin became aggressive and told Johnston to quit school and get a job.
• Sarah Palin wanted to adopt Bristol’s baby Tripp as her own to “avoid a scandal,” but both Johnston and Bristol were against the idea.
• Johnston was indeed present for the birth of his child, something that Sarah Palin has denied in interviews.
• Johnston denies getting another girl pregnant despite what Bristol has publicly claimed.
• Johnston claims he is a much better dancer than Bristol Palin and “if she’s any good at all, it’s because I taught her everything she knows.”
• Johnston claims he is very well-endowed.  ”I’m hung like a moose.”

In Sarah Palin’s book, “America by Heart: Reflections on Family, Faith and Flag,” Palin called Johnston’s attempts at cultivating his fame “disgusting.” It remains to be seen who exactly is warping the truth.

When asked this morning about her “affair” with Levi Johnston, Sarah Palin told WWN she had “no comment,” but sources inside Alaska, say that it was well-known that Sarah and Levi were an item.

“They couldn’t keep their hands off each other,” said a source close to the Governor’s office.

WASILLA, AK – In her upcoming memoir, Bristol Palin tells how she lost her virginity – twice!

Bristol Palin’s upcoming memoir is entitled, Not Afraid of Life: My Journey So Far.  In it she reveals how Levi Johnston took her virginity when she was drunk on wine coolers — then he ran off to brag about it to his friends.

She ran off and told her friends Levi had a small package.

The big revelation in her memoir is that she claims that six months after she gave birth to Tripp, she miraculously became a virgin again.

“I just woke up one day and looked at my private parts in my little mirror and saw that I was a virgin again!  It was a miracle from God and Jesus.  They gave me a second chance to be a good girl,” writes Bristol.

In her book, Bristol calls it the Immaculate Virginity.

The first time Bristol lost her virginity it went like this:  Bristol was on a camping trip with friends when she got drunk for the first time on wine coolers. She recalls waking up in her tent alone with no memory of what had happened, until she heard Johnston describing it to their friends outside.

She had been a virgin and had intended to wait until marriage to have sex. Afterward, she spoke to Johnston, and they agreed to wait until marriage to do it again.  The pact didn’t last long – they had sex right after they made a pact not to have sex again.

Palin says she was on birth control pills (for cramps) when she learned she was pregnant with son Tripp, now 2.   Levi wanted to name Tripp, “Cramp,” but Bristol won that argument.

After eight home pregnancy tests, she realized she had to face the truth. Her parents, she says, were understanding, though they insisted she stay in school. And Johnston’s reaction?

“Better be a (bleeping) boy,” he said.

Bristol was hurt by his comment, but wanted to please him.  “Maybe if  we keep having sex it’ll turn into a boy if it’s girl,” Levi said.  So Bristol and Levi went at it – day and night.  And Levi was right – “having lots of sex affects the gender of a baby,” writes Bristol.

The second time Bristol lost her virginity it went like this:  Bristol was working on Dancing with The Stars with her dance partner, Mark Ballas. They wanted to take a break, so they went camping with some of his friends.  Ballas gave her some wine coolers and she got drunk – Bristol again says this was the first time she got drunk.  When she woke up, she was backstage at DWTS and Ballas was bragging about “bagging Bristol.”

She was hurt, but she kept having sex with Ballas.  She hopes to have a baby with him soon and after that – she hopes to be a virgin once again.

“I believe in re-virginization,” Palin says in her memoir.

Palin’s book, which has a cover photo of her holding Tripp, comes to stores on June 24.

WASHINGTON, DC – Sarah Palin told Chris Wallace on Fox News Sunday that Paul Revere discovered America in 1915.

The former Alaska governor, originally told reporters in New England that Revere “warned the British that they weren’t going to be taking away our arms by ringing those bells and making sure as he’s riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be secure and we were going to be free.”

Many Americans were quick to point out that Paul Revere took his “midnight ride” to warn the colonists that “the British are coming”, he was not warning the British that “the British are coming.”

 On Fox News Sunday with Chris Wallace, Palin corrected herself.

“You know what? I did mess up about Paul Revere. I have since skimmed some history books and I learned that Paul Revere actually was the one who landed on Ellis Island and discovered America in 1915 – right after Neil Armstrong landed on the moon.”

Even Paul Revere was confused by Palin’s remarks:

Palin went on to say that it was Betsy Ross who convinced Paul Revere to make apple pie for the Indians he was about to kill with his machine guns.  She said she believes that Paul Revere is our least known, but greatest, U.S. President.

“I know my American history,” she said.

When Chris Wallace pointed out her many historical errors, Palin said.  “You know, Chris, if you put lipstick on a duck, it quacks.”

Wallace told Palin that Paul Revere was never President of the United States.

“Oh, Chris, there you go again, believing the propaganda put forth by this evil Obama administration.  They just want to erase all of the good American history we all learned in kindergarten. But I won’t let them forget about Paul Revere or Ghandi.  Two of our greatest Americans.”

When asked if she was going to run for President, Palin told Wallace, “That depends if George Bush runs again.  If he doesn’t, I will be certainly be the candidate, if he does, then I will have to wait until 2014 when we have our next election.”

The Sarah Palin bus tour continues today. She’s heading to Toronto, Canada to spend time with “real Americans.”

EXCLUSIVE – Sarah Palin told WWN’s Frank Lake that she is running for President in 2012!

Former Alaska governor Sarah Palin, is starting her national bus tour on Sunday.  Embedded on her bus is WWN’s Frank Lake.  Palin shocked major media outlets when, in a private interview with Frank, she said she is “absolutely running for President of the United States in 2012.”

“And I’m going to kick Barack Obama’s butt!” Palin said.

The bus tour, officially launches her Presidential bid.  It starts on Sunday in Washington at the annual Rolling Thunder motorcycle rally and will work its way north along the East Coast.  The Presidential candidate will visit other parts of the country later, stopping at symbolically important sites in the nation’s history.

Palin advisers told Frank Lake that she will stop in Iowa, New Hampshire and South Carolina – on the bus tour.

 The bus tour will include a stop in New Hampshire.  Tim Crawford, Palin’s campaign manager declined to give more details.  He would only say, “She wants to get people fired up about her running for President.”

Palin told Frank Lake that she wants to win in November.  Lake told her that the election isn’t until 2012.  “Oh, well, I will win then, too.  I will win every year.  This is America. You can do anything!” Palin said.

On her web site, Palin wrote: “I’ve said many times that America doesn’t need a ‘fundamental transformation,’ instead we need a restoration of all that is good and strong and free in America!  So, I am running for President of the United States in 2012.”

Chris Christie, Mike Huckabee, Mitch Daniels and Donald Trump immediately threw their support behind Sarah Palin.

“She’s going to make a great president,” said Trump.  “And she’s hot.  That can’t hurt.  You know, hot is good. I’d hire her on that alone.”

NEW YORK — The Bio Channel is giving Bristol Palin a reality series – centered on her recent marriage to two men.

The network said Monday that Palin will star in a 10-episode series. She is the daughter of former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin and a former contestant on “Dancing With the Stars.”

The new series will follow her move from Alaska to Los Angeles with her son, Tripp, to work at a small charity.

It will also follow her new lifestyle.  She recently married two men, Kyle and Christopher Massey – in a private ceremony in Utah.  The reality show will follow their new life together – as the three young stars co-parent Tripp.

Bristol fell in love with Kyle Massey, a fellow “Dancing” contestant, during the show and after being introduced to Christopher, she fell in love with him.

Like Charlie Sheen, Bristol calls her two lovers – The Gods.

The 20-year-old Palin has earned hundreds of thousands of dollars as a spokeswoman working to prevent teen pregnancy, though she does encourage teens to “have as much sex as you can, because you never know, you may get a reality show someday.”

The as-yet-untitled series is slated to air in late 2011.  She’s ready to spread her wings!

SAN FRANCISCO  – A headband designed by EmSense, is being used by the U.S. government to record brainwaves as citizens watch TV.

The process of measuring brain reactions to something is known as ‘quantitative neurometrics’ and it can be carried out as you watch a computer or television screen.

The EmBand is being used by the government to track the brainwaves of citizens across the country.  The band measures how much attention you are paying, or your ‘cognitive engagement’, by evaluating brainwave activity.

This was the ad for the commercial use of the EmBand.

The ‘mobile armchair’ can be reclined and driven using a Kinect motion controller.  The U.S. government studies citizens by asking respondents to voluntarily share their information.

This has been compared to the controversial 1971 film A Clockwork Orange, where authorities try to psychologically modify the behavior of a teenage thug.

But this is not just a harmless commercial device.  The U.S. government has bought one hundred thousand of these devices and is already tracking millions of citizens.

Some citizens are concerned that the Obama Administration is using this technology to monitor the electorate.  “This is another power grab by Obama, but this time he is trying to grab our brains,” said Sarah Palin at a Tea Party rally in Wisconsin.

The government has already monitored more than 100,000 citizens.  After tracking the results, the FBI has arrested over 2,500 citizens for various thought crimes.

WASHINGTON – Doctors have confirmed that Barack Obama has had brain surgery.

For the last three years a many curious citizens have wondered about the long scar which goes up the side of Barack Obama head and over his crown.

There were rumors that claimed that they are scars that you would see on someone who has had brain surgery. But without medical records (along with his school records and birth certificate) no one seems to be able to provide an answer as to the cause of the mystery scars.

Until now.  Dr. Thomas Yablonski, a top neurologist at Houston’s The Methodist Hospital, carefully. examined high-resolution photographs and high-powered, long-distance brain scans.  His conclusion:  President Barack Obama has had brain surgery. “I’m not sure exactly what the procedure was, but that scar clearly indicates a common incision made into the brain.,” said Dr. Yablonski.

Sarah Palin has already jumped on this issue. “Whatever happened to create that scar, it was clearly something serious. Was it a brain operation? Has it affected his thinking?  I think it has,” said Palin.

“I think someone like George Soros implanted a brain chip in the President’s skull and his controlling his thoughts and actions,” said Glenn Beck on his Fox show on Friday.”

Donald Trump had this to say about the issue.  “No one is allowed to see his birth certificate.  And nobody is allowed to see his medical records.  But I have people down in Washington investigating this issue.  You can’t believe what they will find.”

Many inside are speculating that whatever the surgery was for, it y might explain why the President gets lost speaking without a teleprompter, and posted a video of Obama struggling through a speech, repeating his words and getting lost mid-sentence.

A spokeswoman from the White House said they were not willing to comment on Obama’s brain surgery, saying they were ‘ridiculous’.

But many neurosurgeons across the U.S. and around the world are confirming what Dr. Yablonski has stated:  Obama had some kind of brain surgery.

Without medical records or an admission from the White House, the public may never know the answer to the question, along with the contents of his birth certificate.

What did they do to Obama’s brain?  Why?

Do you know the answer?

MOSCOW – 144 years after selling Alaska to the U.S., Russia wants it back.

March 30 marked 144 years since the day when Russia sold Alaska to the United States for five cents per hectare. The adequate agreement was signed at 4 a.m. by the Russian Ambassador to Washington Eduard Stoeckl.

The government of Alexander II sold the huge territory of over 1.5 square kilometers for $7.2 million, gold (11 million rubles, gold).

Now, Vladmir Putin wants Alaska back and he’s told Pravda that he will make it happen before Obama is out of office.

Back in 1867, many Russians were perplexed as to why the government sold the territory which the people of the country had been developing for 126 years.  Many in the country were surprised that the selling price for Alaska was so low.

In America, the deal raised many eyebrows too. They found it hard to understand why the country needed 365 million acres of frozen land. The price for that land was too high, many Americans thought.

William Seward, then-Secretary of State, was conducting negotiations with Russia regarding Alaska. He also signed the sales agreement, and he received most criticism for that. Rumor has it that the senators who approved the ratification of the agreement, were bribed by the Russian ambassador. Indeed, historians say that Stoeckl received $25,000 from Alexander II for his efforts.

If bribes did happen, they were probably the bribes that contributed greatly to the development of the country, Americans historians say. Gold was found on Alaska several years after it was no longer a part of Russia. Oil and gas reserves discovered there were worth hundreds of billions of dollars.

It is worthy of note that the sale of Alaska led to long-term negative consequences for the United States. Indians, Aleuts and Eskimos did not recognize the deal. They were granted US citizenship only in 1924.

The situation changed after the discovery of enormous oil reserves in 1968. Three years later, Washington made a decision worth of Solomon. Alaskan Aborigines received approximately 11 percent of the state territory in their property and a share in oil-mining corporations.

Today, 60 percent of Alaska’s territory is owned by the federal authorities of the United States. Twenty-eight percent is owned by the state itself. One percent of Alaska is in private property.  Russia wants it all.

The Russians plan on forcing Americans off their land starting this July.

Russian Empress Ekaterina II sold Alaska to the States. A popular song by Russian band Lube called “Don’t Fool Around, America” from 1989 has the following line: “Ekaterina, you were not right.”

There’s a new popular song in  Russia, “We Got Alaska Back!”

HANDENBURG, Austria - President Obama has been robbing Austrian banks to fuel the US economy.

Austrian authorities have yet to catch President Obama after a string of bank robberies that he has committed since the US economic collapse of 2008.

His most recent heist took place this past Thursday in the hamlet of Handenburg where he held tellers up at gunpoint and made off with thousands upon thousands of Euros. The Austrian financial system has been growing steadily, making it a prime target for the President.

While White House officials have neither confirmed nor denied the whereabouts of the President last Thursday, they did offer this statement.

“Just because a black guy is seen on tape robbing a bank doesn’t mean it’s the President. We really thought that everyone had already gotten over this idea that all black people look alike.”

However, tea party people across the nation are not being convinced so easily. “Obama is blowing money left and right. He’s just desperate and this new tactic to aid the US economy doesn’t surprise me in the least,” said Robert Minford, tea party activist and bank heist historian, “He has already robbed the American people with the US bank bailouts. What’s to stay that he wouldn’t rob an actual bank?”

Chinese officials are showing concern as well. “All throughout the state dinner last week President Obama kept asking President Jintao about where he banks and about the layout of his local branch. All the while, the first lady was giving President Jintao seductive eyes in that sexy red dress. I think she was trying to get him to let down his guard during the series of bank related questions,” said a top Chinese official who wished to remain anonymous.

It has been rumored that the President will pull together the cast of Ocean’s Eleven and Twelve but not Thirteen, no one saw that one so what’s the point, in order to pull off his Chinese bank heist; code name: Oriental Express. George Clooney, however, will not be able to do the job since he recently contracted malaria, again, which has really bummed the President out.

Completion of this holdup would potentially allow the US to secure its position as the number one economic super power as well as giving them the opportunity to buy back Alaska from the Russians. However, many Democrats are not sure that this would be the best use of funds.

“We finally found a way to get rid of Sarah Palin with the sale of Alaska. Why in God’s name would we want to get her back?”

WASHINGTON – US forced to sell Alaska in order to combat with the rising national debt.

The US has just announced that the national debt has reached an all time high, topping $14 trillion dollars, that’s approximately $45,300 for every person in the US. The national debt is a result of the US accumulating years upon years of financial obligations dating as far back as the days of George Washington. But since 2005 alone, the debt has nearly doubled.

In order to combat the continued rising debt, Congress has been put in the hot seat, being forced to make difficult decisions. It is faced with a few potential options. One, Congress can lift the legal debt limit to create a higher credit limit for the country; Two, dramatically cut spending to keep the government on track and prevent the debt from growing further; or Three, sell government owned properties.

After an intense debate on Capitol Hill, Congress decided to go with option number three and sell Alaska back to Russia. The US purchased Alaska from the Russian Empire back in 1867 for the now bargain rate of $7.2 million dollars.

Original Check from US purchase of Alaska

“The Russians offered to write us a personal check, but that was unacceptable to the terms of the deal,” said Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner, “This is a COD kind of deal.”

The US stands to turn a hefty profit with the new sale price of $2.85 trillion.  This sale will dramatically reduce the debt, buying the US precious time to rework the budget and find a way to keep the rising debt at bay.

“We initially thought that leasing the state back to the Russians would be an option but we soon discovered that the cost to administer the lease would actually cause us to go further into debt,” explained Sen. Lisa Murkoski R-AK, “That is why we opted to sell it instead. We tried to sell Puerto Rico too but no one wanted it. We had several open houses but no bites, not a one.”

This decision has not been met without extreme outrage by the American public, especially by the citizens of Alaska.

“Just because Sara Palin is from Alaska does not mean that we should be treated like a second class state that can just be sold off on a whim,” said local Alaskan business owner, Bill Kumberlan, “this sale is going to make my life a nightmare, no one on my staff speaks Russian.”

It is unclear what other drastic measures Congress may need to take in order to deal with America’s enormous debt. But if Canada wants to make an offer on Vermont, we will gladly take it.  They’ve always wanted to succeed anyway.