CHICAGO, IL – Sarah Paliln did an interview with Oprah yesterday.  The two buried their hatchet and had “girl time” until the early hours of the morning.

Palin appeared on the Oprah Winfrey show yesterday for the first time.  Expectations were high for a verbal dueling match or a literal fistfight between the ideologically separated women.  Palin had spent the last month wrestling bears in Alaska to prepare herself for the mean streets of Chicago.  However the two bonded over their common ground as women.

After the interview Oprah decided to further end their rivalry by taking Palin out for a night on the town.  Oprah’s staff had to talk to Palin several times that crime in the city was not as bad as she thought, and she could leave her guns behind.

After much coaxing from Oprah herself Palin left the automatic rifle, magnum hand gun, and sawed off shotgun.  Each gun had its own holster that matched her business suit perfectly.  In the end she went with only a 2 shot dillinger that she kept hidden under her skirt by her inner thigh.

Oprah took Palin out for drinks to several high class Chicago bars.  One of the bars was staffed entirely by Asian drag queens, however given how many rounds they’d had by then Palin did not notice.  Several of the queens invited Palin to dance with them to a remix of Donna Summer’s “I Will Survive.”  Photos of this are expected to be why Palin will not receive the Republican nomination in 2012.

After bar hopping the two rented a room for karaoke.  Together Oprah Winfrey and Sarah Palin sang Aretha Franklin’s “Respect” and Destiny’s Child’s “Independent Ladies.”  Palin did a version of Sinatra’s “I did It My Way.”  Oprah sang “Falling” by Alicia Keys.  Palin said it was the first time she had ever done karaoke and thought it was “just the darndest thing!”

After karaoke they went to the top of a skyscraper and Palin taught Oprah how to shoot.  Lining up the many bottles they had emptied that evening they took turns writing names on them like Stedman and Levi, then shot them with Palin’s large assortment of guns.  Oprah claimed had never done that before and said of the experience “Oh momma says yes!”

Spreading out a blanket in a cow field outside the city the two stayed up until dawn talking and watching for meteor showers.  They shared their mutual concerns about breaking through the glass ceiling, balancing their ambition with their personal life, and men.  In the pre-dawn hours a tipsy Sarah Palin had to teach Oprah how to pee outside.

Shortly after dawn they parted ways again, with Palin continuing to promote her book and Oprah returning to her media career.  The next edition of O magazine is expected to have a section on shooting guns like a lady and how to pee outside.

WASILLA, AK – Sarah Palin will be appearing on Oprah in November.  The former governor is training for what she believes will be a “rough and tumble” interview.

“I know what the media’s like.  I know they’re gunning for me.  So I’m gonna be prepared.”  This was Sarah Palin’s reply as she was training for her upcoming appearance on the Oprah Winfrey program.  The former governor of Alaska will be on to talk about her new book “Going Rogue.”

“You Liberal media types are all out to get me.  And this is the most powerful woman in the world.  So you better believe I’m gonna be ready,”  Palin said while doing bench presses.  To prepare for the interview in Chicago she is going through tough physical training.  Each day she runs 3 miles and kills a deer with her bare hands, in addition to a rigorous gym schedule.

“Oprah’s studio is the bleeding heart of Chicago liberalism.  I’m a pilgrim in the lion’s den down there.  I’ve seen these types of shows.  I know what happens.”  Palin had her personal trainer throw chairs at her, which she would mostly avoid.  “You never know what left-wing wacko will want to get a piece of the Maverick.”

Palin also spent an hour in a butcher’s freezer punching a large slab of meat.  “You see this cow?!  I killed this myself!  That’s how we do it in Real America!  Yeah!”

Her training is not just for a possible physical confrontation though.  “My preparation is both mental, and physical,” insists Palin.  “They try to trip you up by asking meaningless trivia: ‘find China on a map’ ‘what’s the Bush foreign policy?’  Whatever, I’m gonna be ready.”  According to her trainer she spends hours each day playing sudoku and quizzing herself from Trivial Pursuit cards.  “She tried reading the New Yorker once, but got frustrated and shot it with a gun.  That gun scares me.”

Sarah Palin is covering all her bases in making sure she isn’t blindsided by the show.  “I’m gonna handcuff Todd to a chair before I leave Alaska.  Then I know you aren’t pulling one of those crazy, ‘your husband is really a woman’ kinda shows.”

Palin will be appearing on the Oprah Winfrey program November 16th.