PROP COMIC SUFFERS GRIEVOUS WOUND

SAN FRANCISCO –  Stand-up comedian, Gallagher, badly injured himself  today in a performance at the Last Day Saloon when he mistook his own head for a watermelon.

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JUDGE ORDERS ALL GAYS TO BE MARRIED

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SAN FRANCISCO –  After a judge overturned California’s same-sex marriage ban, he ordered all gays married “by next year.”

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