WASHINGTON – The White House announced today that Michelle Obama is pregnant with the couple’s third child.

PIMA COUNTY, AZ – The U.S. Department of Interior has released a Chupacabra into Arizona in an attempt to get them to repeal their new immigration law.

WASHINGTON – President Obama has finally quit smoking! But now, he’s drinking like a fish.

WASHINGTON, DC – WH Press Secretary, Robert Gibbs, resigned today because Michelle Obama was not happy that he leaked information about her pregnancy.

NEW YORK – Obama sings with Jon Stewart’s F.U. Choir on Comedy Central’s “Daily Show” tonight.

WASHINGTON – Michaele and Tareq Salahi are at it again. They snuck into the White House and slept in the Lincoln Bedroom!

WASHINGTON – President Obama will throw a fiesta on September 16th to celebrate Mexico’s bicentennial.

WASHINGTON – On the first night of the White House Dance Series, the White House introduced its own dance troupe, Hip-Potus.

BEVERLY HILLS – Plastic surgeons across the city have confirmed a serious Botox shortage. There’s fighting in the streets!

SAN ANTONIO, TX – A city panel cleared the way for construction of a Mexican cantina at The Alamo.