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RICK PERRY BACKS NEWT GINGRICH AND OPEN MARRIAGE!
DALLAS, TX – Governor Rick Perry dropped out of the Presidential race today and threw his support to Newt Gingrich and open marriage.
RICK PERRY WISHES AUDIENCE “HAPPY EASTER”
NEW HAMPSHIRE – Rick Perry continues his gafffetastic campaign. He told an audience last night: I hope the Easter Bunny is good to y’all.”
RICK PERRY: DANCES WITH RABBIS
DALLAS – Sources close to Rick Perry say he regularly dances with Rabbis and hopes to become a Rabbi someday.
RON PAUL WHOOPS RICK PERRY
SIMI VALLEY, CA – Ron Paul defeated Rick Perry in the debate last night, then beat him up backstage.
RICK PERRY IS FAKING HIS TWANG!
DALLAS – According to sources close to the Texas governor – Rick Perry fakes his twang.
MICHELE BACHMANN INVITES MICHAEL JACKSON TO DC
NEW HAMSPHIRE – A day after wishing Elvis Presley “Happy Birthday” on the anniverary of his death, Michelle Bachmann invited MJ to Washington.
ATTACK OF THE TERROR BABIES!
LAREDO, TX – Texas lawmakers have confirmed that Terror Babies are crawling across the border and heading for… you!
OBAMA RELEASES SECOND CHUPACABRA INTO TEXAS
BREAKING – The U.S. Department of Interior Obama released a second Chupacabra today, this time into Texas.
TEXAS SECESSION
AUSTIN, TX – Texas has seceded from the union. Led by Governor Rick Perry, Texans and those frustrated with the Federal government are clamoring to Texas to start a new country.
