PORTSMOUTH, NH – Newt Gingrich, Republican candidate for President, told a town hall audience that his wife is a robot.

WASHINGTON – There are Beltway rumors that President Obama is losing his hearing from a rare auditory disease.

DALLAS – According to sources close to the Texas governor – Rick Perry fakes his twang.

LONDON – John Lennon’s personal diaries reveal that he was a staunch conservative and a registered Republican.

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver have announced they have separated after 25 years of marriage.

WASHINGTON, DC – Budget crisis causes U.S. to turn to the alien, P’Lod, for financial aid.

ALBANY – Andrew Cuomo voted and then went off and turned himself into Bat Boy!!

ALBANY – New York Gubernatorial candidates get ready for tonight’s second debate.

NEW YORK, NY – The View’s resident Republican was snubbed by the White House, and she isn’t going down without a fight!

CHICAGO, IL – Shocking both the hip-hop and the political worlds, Kanye West and John McCain announced that they have developed a joint clothing line.