Residents of Kirby fear a large flying reptile.

KIRBY, Wyo. — Citizens of a small town in Wyoming are locking their doors and refusing to leave as a creature with a 22-foot wingspan stalks the skies. Residents first reported sightings of the Cretaceous-era creature pteranodon yesterday. Today, not only do the reports persist, but they claim the creature is beginning to attack anyone walking the streets of Kirby.

Though the flying reptile’s diet is known to have existed of mostly fish, the creature is reported to be aggressively pecking people and even lifting some off to an unknown location. It is thought that the beast has a nest somewhere within the higher elevations of Kirby.

Scientists are baffled as to how a creature that lived nearly 65 million years ago has made a return to terrorize the town’s inhabitants. So far, theories range from an escaped lab project to a preserved family of pterosaurs that has lived on in the caves of Wyoming. While they try to center on the why, scientists are also focusing on the how — particularly, how to catch the creature.

The beast is known for its long, toothless beak, as well as a crested skull. The size of this particular animal’s skull has led scientists to believe that it is a male. Nicknamed “Wingy,” the pteranodon may or may not be acquiring food for younger members of its family, as he is the sole creature confirmed to exist. Citizens of Kirby are encouraged to keep all animals within their homes and stables, and are asked to not try to engage the animal in battle.

There’s life on Mars — and it’s enormous!

NASA’s Phoenix Mars Lander has transmitted a photograph of what appears to be a super-sized dinosaur standing menacingly on the surface of the Red Planet — and shocked scientists say the discovery has overturned “everything we thought we knew about extra-terrestrial life.”

The space agency has delayed releasing the stunning news to the public pending a full analysis of the available data. But Dr. Simon Wycoff, an astrobiologist serving as a consultant to the Phoenix project, has agreed to reveal what little is known about the humongous reptile and the implications of the staggering find.

In an exclusive interview with Weekly World News writer Garrett Hawley, Wycoff says the creature resembles the Earth dinosaur Tyrannosaurus Rex, but is at least three times larger than the ferocious predator.

WWN: Why is the dinosaur so much bigger than any dinosaur fossils found on Earth?
WYCOFF: The relative lack of gravity on Mars allowed the beast to grow so large. Earth’s stronger gravity would cause any creature that big to collapse under its own weight.
WWN: Is the dinosaur the only one of its kind?
WYCOFF: That’s highly unlikely. We assume they’ve been breeding there for millennia.
WWN: What do the dinosaurs eat?
WYCOFF: Each other. Members of their own kind would be their only source of nutrition. They are cannibals.
WWN: Is there any way to estimate their population?
WYCOFF: Not until we explore the planet. Even then, it will be difficult to get an exact count because of the lack of light and the uneven terrain of the Martian surface.
WWN: How did the dinosaurs get there?
WYCOFF: At this point, your guess is as good as mine. One theory is that microscopic living organisms were transported throughout the solar system by comets. On that account, life on Earth began when one of these comets deposited organic material on our planet after crashing into it. The same phenomenon could have occurred on Mars.
WWN: Dinosaurs became extinct on Earth 70 million years ago. Why have they survived on Mars?
WYCOFF: The dinosaurs were wiped off the face of the Earth by a massive asteroid impact. Apparently, Mars escaped a similar calamity.
WWN: President Bush has vowed to establish a human colony on Mars. What does this discovery do to that plan?
WYCOFF: It puts the kibosh on it, I should think. A human expedition to Mars would involve a maximum of six or seven astronauts. They wouldn’t make more than a tasty hors d’oeuvre for creatures this size. It would be folly to spend upwards of $50 billion to send humans to Mars just to have them eaten by a dinosaur. The American taxpayer would never stand for it.