WASHINGTON, DC – A government think tank has come up with a plan to put $10,000 cash in every family’s pocketbook…

Ben Bernanke says that the worst of the recession is over and the economy will level out, thanks to a large reserve of gold found hidden under Mount Rushmore.

WASHINGTON, DC – The government has been forced to pull back on defense spending. Secretary of Defense Robert Gates is pulling funding on F22 and Area 51, which is expected to close within the month.

LOS ANGELES—Citing concerns over the recession in the American economy and the desire to purchase Park Place, a child model asked that she be paid in Monopoly dollars.

Be prepared for anything the economy throws at you with these handy tips.

I’m pig biting mad about all the crazy news this week! I’m sick of that crazy baby machine lady with the big lips. I’m sick of movie stars talking about how brave they are for making a movie about some pansy thirty years after he died.

WASHINGTON, DC – Bernanke finally admits how he predicted the end of the recession: Astrology!

WASHINGTON, DC – After criticizing the economic stimulus plan, Republicans have chained themselves to doors of the Capital Building to block its passing.

NEW YORK, NY – With the economy continuing its roller-coaster ride this week, retailers are expecting a different type of crowd.

WASHINGTON, DC – On the eve of the most important presidential election in years, the Chaos Cloud has descended upon the nation’s capitol.