Bristol Palin is back in the reality-TV game — and her new show is going to air on a major network.

Palin, 21, has signed a new reality show deal that will pay her close to $2 million for the first season.

The docuseries will feature “never-before-granted access to Bristol’s real-life experiences growing into womanhood,” according to Lifetime.

And Bristol is excited about the title of the show –  Trippin’.

The “Dancing With the Stars” alum and eldest daughter of former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin decided to move back to her home state last September after she was challenged over her mom’s politics while riding a mechanical bull at L.A.’s Saddle Ranch bar.

She vowed to live a quiet live in Alaska for the rest of her life.

“I wasn’t really into the Hollywood thing,” she said. “After that, I just realized that I was over it. I was ready to come home.”

Now she wants to be back in the spotlight.

Twenty-four Trippin’ episodes have been ordered and will appear on one of the three broadcast networks (though they are not saying which one).  There is no air date yet, but according to sources close to Bristol, “she wants it to be soon.  She hates being out of the limelight.  And she wants to exploit Tripp as much as possible before he gets old enough to understand it all.”

Will Levi Johnston appear in the show?

“Of course!” one of the shows producers told WWN.  ”It’s Trippin’ for a reason.  It’s about Bristol and Tripp, but it’s all about the wild and crazy life she’s going to be living  in Hollywood again.  Bristol is ready to ride the bull again!”

ARIZONA – Steven Seagal whacked some puppies in his crimefighting reality show.

Jesus Sanchez Llovera claimed his puppies died during an early morning raid on his home by self-styled ‘Sheriff’ Seagal who was filming his reality show ’Steven Seagal: Lawman’.

Mr Llovera’s home in Arizona was set upon by volunteer officer Seagal and a local police chief as they believed he was running an illegal cockfighting ring.

Several of Llovera’s neighbors said that Seagal then came to their houses “looking for puppies to shoot.”

“He was out-of-control.  He wanted puppies and he wanted puppies dead,” said neighbor Junior Diaz.  “He tried to use Kung Fu on them or something.”

Apparently, some of the puppies fought back and one of them, Le Tigre, took Seagal to the mat and pinned him.

Robert Campus, Llovera’s attorney, believes the entire raid was staged to help actor Steven Seagal’s TV show, “Lawman.” Seagal was riding in the tank. The Sheriff’s Department has entered into a contract with Seagal and part of that contract gives Seagal carte blanche to go along with the sheriff as he arrests people.

Mr Llovera’s home in Arizona was set upon by volunteer officer Seagal and a local police chief as they believed he was running an illegal cockfighting ring.

According to eyewitness reports, Seagal came in with guns blazing and he purposely targeted puppies.

It’s very odd because Seagal recently said that animal cruelty was one of his pet peeves. And this bust was an about animal cruelty.  “He just lost it,” said Diaz.

No one told Seagal that rolling a tank into a living room filled with animals might pose as a threat to, well, the animals. The raid ended up killing hundreds of roosters (looks like Llovera was running a cock-fighting ring after all) and the family’s puppy in the process.  Some puppies tried to run away – that’s when Seagal started shooting.

The fallout of this whole episode? Segal is being sued for more than $100,000 by Llovera, who is also demanding a written apology from Seagal to his children for killing the puppies.

Mr Llovera says his house suffered ‘substantial damage’. He now wants $100,000 compensation plus a written apology from the veteran actor for his children ‘for the death of their 11-month-old puppy, a beloved family pet’.

The Hispanic man also denied there was an illegal cockfighting ring at his home, accusing Seagal and his colleagues of killing 100 prize chickens that were being bred for ‘show’.

Martial arts expert Seagal, 59, has responded by saying that talk of animal cruelty was ‘beyond the pale’.  He also denied killing any puppies – but he is not giving up the tapes of his realty show.

Seagal has teamed up with Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpacio the controversial right-wing police chief who has dedicated much time to rounding up illegal immigrants in the state.

Seagal denies that he also has a vendetta against penguins and teddy bears.  “I love all animals, whether they are stuffed or not.”

Seagal’s lawyer said that his client will prove to the world that he loves puppies.  He is opening the Steven Seagal “I Love Puppies” Martial Arts School in Los Angeles.

NEW YORK – Casey Anthony and her family inked a deal with MTV for a reality series entitled “Not Guilty: Life After the Truth.”

After considering pitches from two major networks and one cable network, the Anthony family decided to go forward with MTV’s offer.

Casey Anthony wanted to make sure that the show serviced her target audience, which she sees as “people like me.” Her parents, along with her brother, let her make the final decision after a family meeting last night.

George Anthony, Casey Anthony’s father, explained, “Casey has a good sense when it comes to people. We trust her judgment. Of course, we gave her our opinions and let her know how we feel. But ultimately, the show will be about Casey, her recovery and her new life.”

The show will likely begin taping after Casey Anthony is released from prison. MTV News will have reporters at the Orlando courthouse where she is due to be sentenced tomorrow. She has promised the music network her first post-decision interview.

NEW YORK — The Bio Channel is giving Bristol Palin a reality series – centered on her recent marriage to two men.

The network said Monday that Palin will star in a 10-episode series. She is the daughter of former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin and a former contestant on “Dancing With the Stars.”

The new series will follow her move from Alaska to Los Angeles with her son, Tripp, to work at a small charity.

It will also follow her new lifestyle.  She recently married two men, Kyle and Christopher Massey – in a private ceremony in Utah.  The reality show will follow their new life together – as the three young stars co-parent Tripp.

Bristol fell in love with Kyle Massey, a fellow “Dancing” contestant, during the show and after being introduced to Christopher, she fell in love with him.

Like Charlie Sheen, Bristol calls her two lovers – The Gods.

The 20-year-old Palin has earned hundreds of thousands of dollars as a spokeswoman working to prevent teen pregnancy, though she does encourage teens to “have as much sex as you can, because you never know, you may get a reality show someday.”

The as-yet-untitled series is slated to air in late 2011.  She’s ready to spread her wings!

HOLLYWOOD – ABC is launching a new reality show – Celebrity Coal Mine.

Hollywood is once again taking a major world event and making it into… entertainment!  Yay!   After the thrilling rescue of 33 Chilean miners, producers of the mega-hit, Dancing With The Stars, got the idea for the new reality show.

The premise:  celebrities are put in a coal mine – 2,000 feet below the earth’s surface – and then each week one of them will earn a trip to the top and get out of the coal mine.   “It’s brilliant, absolutely brilliant,” said  DWTS producer Lloyd Moher about his own idea.  “I was shaving this morning and when I saw those miners come up on the TV and the real human drama of it all, I said to myself – ‘that’s a reality show’!”

“It’s a combination Survivor meets Dancing With The Stars,” said ABC Network executive, Rachel Kelly.  “We have twelve celebrities down in the mine. They will get food and water and make-up and prescription drugs – everything they need in the real world – then they will have to perform a dance routine in the coal mine.  Each week the best dancer gets to go up.  It’s a fantastic show.”

Flavor Flav and Bret Michaels have already signed up to be on the show.

Tom Bergeron and Brooke  Burke have already signed on to be hosts.  They are working on a catch phrase that can be said each week at the end of the show.  Some phrases they are considering:  “You go up!”,  “Go to the top!”,  “You can live!”

Coal miners in West Virgina are not happy about the show.  “Typical Hollywood B.S., they do a show about miners and they film it in Los Angeles. What kind of crap is that?  There’s no coal mines in Los Angeles?” said Hank Bowley of Buery, West Virginia.

“We can’t get celebrities to go to West Virginia.  They want to be near their agents and managers.  So, we’re building a mine shaft in Culver City.  It’s not as deep as the shafts in West Virginia, but it’s a good shaft.  The celebrities have approved of the shaft,” said Moher.

The show will premier in January.   The ideas they keep pumping out in Hollywood – amazing!

You go up!

LOS ANGELES, CA – PhD Ape was called in by VH1 to host a new celebrity rehab show.

PhD Ape, the world’s smartest primate, was asked to help the overwhelmed Dr. Drew Leary give psychological treatment to addicted celebrities.

Dr. Drew, who has his own celebrity rehabilitation show, was attacked by Gary Busey during a standard therapy session last week.  Busey was on the verge of a breakthrough when he suddenly pounced on Dr. Drew pinning him to the floor.  Cameras continued to roll as Gary Busey held down the doctor for 20 minutes, slapping him in the face while providing motivational “Busey-isms.”   

Producers saw the need for a world class psychotherapist who also weighs 350 lbs and could rip a phonebook in half.  PhD Ape was very hesitant at first but agreed to come in and film the pilot episode. 

A pilot was taped in Los Angeles earlier this week.  Filming included several hours of intense therapy, requiring several boxes of tissues, three tranquilizer darts and two ice cream sundaes.  Eventually cameras caught the tear-filled breakthrough they were waiting for wherein Busey apologized to Dr. Drew and poured out his remaining bottles of alcohol.     

When asked if his show had been picked up, PhD Ape responded, “Yes, the executives were interested but I turned down their offer.  Right now I would rather focus my energies on a more traditional practice.”

Gary Busey was last seen towing a cannon towards the Mexican border.