KIRIBATI -  The bones of Amelia Earhart have been found.  Along with the bones of Gilligan and Ginger!

Scientists at a DNA lab on Kiribati,  a small island in the southwest Pacific Ocean, confirmed that bone fragments they found belong to   American icon Amelia Earhart, missing and presumed dead for the past 73 years.

Even more startling was the discovery of the bone fragments of Gilligan…

and Ginger.

A group of Bone Hunters from Delaware, found the bone fragments on  Kiribati, which straddles the equator between Hawaii and Australia.

Jack Maloney, director of the Society for Historic Bone Recovery, said that the island was been on Earhart’sflight path as she attempted to become the first woman to fly around the world.

The bone fragments were found this past summer at what is believed to be an abandoned campsite on the island. The campsite, where a partial skeleton (which was later lost and never recovered) was found in 1940 by a British official overseeing the island, has yielded other clues that a Western woman may have spent time there.

Over the years, a woman’s shoe, a glass bottle with trace amounts of lanolin and oil and makeup products have been found on the scene. Other findings, including evidence of the cooking and eating of local sea life, were noted, as well.

“It looks like she landed successfully on the reef surrounding the island. It’s very flat and smooth,”  Maloney said. “At low tide, it looks like this place is surrounded by a parking lot.”

Anthropologists who worked on the expeditions that yielded the bone fragments, sent to the Molecular Anthropology Laboratory (MAL) in Bayonne, which has the capacity to extract DNA from both modern and ancient samples.

The director of the MAL, John Malley, said that the bones “were an exact match to the DNA to Amelia Earhart.  We are 99.99% certain, it is her.”

Malley went on to say that the bones of Gilligan and Ginger were also 99.99% accurate.  There were no signs of any bones from the Skipper, The Professor or Mary Ann.

CHICAGO, IL – The University of Illinois at Chicago announced this morning that they have offered OJ Simpson an adjunct professorship in its prestigious Drama department.

Though Simpson was convicted on all twelve counts of armed robbery and kidnapping over the weekend will likely spend the rest of his life in a Nevada federal penitentiary, he will be able to conduct his classes live via satellite.

UIC, home to Weather Underground founder Bill Ayers and several other felons, welcomes the high-profile addition to its esteemed faculty.  “He’s The Juice,” exclaimed university Chancellor Paula Allen-Meares.  “He led the nation in rushing two years in a row at USC.  He won the Heisman.  He was the first pro player to reach 2,000 yards, for goodness sake!”  She added, “I’m also a big fan of ‘The Naked Gun.’”

Simpson has also begun writing a new book tentatively titled “If I Didn’t Do It.”