BREAKING NEWS: McCain has proudly accepted the Alien’s endorsement!

ROSWELL, NM – At a political rally in the infamous Roswell area, Senator John McCain acknowledged and accepted the Alien’s endorsement for his presidential run.

The Arizona senator explained, “By the way, I have been here to Roswell before and I know about the alien landing. And I am pleased to announce that I have received the alien endorsement…and I am proud!”

While the Alien has not released an official response, insiders believe he is elated at McCain’s warm acceptance.

But will the Alien’s endorsement be enough to push McCain into victory? Stay tuned!

October 30, 2008
WASHINGTON, DC – In a shocking reversal, the Alien has switched his endorsement from Barack Obama to John McCain.

With major implications for the U.S. presidential election, political kingmaker the Alien has changed his endorsement amid furor. Both political camps are buzzing about the implications, as the Alien has correctly predicted the winning president in every election for the past 28 years.

Ongoing investigation points to Cindy McCain as being the cause for this historic shift in allegiances.

Uncovered photos suggest that in a last ditch effort to help her husband’s failing campaign, Cindy McCain seduced and then blackmailed the Alien for his endorsement.

At a recent McCain rally, inside sources say Cindy McCain disappeared with the Alien after sharing several champagnes with the notorious intergalactic lightweight. Ms. McCain’s alien-like good looks and natural blood temperature of 54 degrees Fahrenheit may have proved too much for him to resist as she reportedly put her cyborg husband into sleep mode and worked her charms.

This is not the first time the Alien, who sources say is no prude, has been in political “hot water.” During the 2004 election he was photographed in a hot tub with Laura Bush and Teresa Heinz Kerry. As the Alien is now married with children the release of these photos could be devastating for him.

What impact this news will have on the election has yet to be determined. Swing state voters, who will decide this election, have the highest rate of alien abductions and UFO sightings and are known to vote in accordance with supernatural forces.

NEW YORK, NY – New York City’s Mayor Michael Bloomberg is gearing up for a run at a third term in office.  He’s making the usual rounds of fundraisers and kissing babies to drum up support.  But in the wake of the failing financial institutions, Bloomberg needed a big hook to get New Yorkers on his side. So, today, in a private ceremony, Bloomberg officially issued the civic edict changing the name of Manhattan’s most famous street.

“The presidential candidates were right: Main Street IS more important than Wall Street. So I woke up this morning and decided to officially change the name Wall Street to Main Street,” said Bloomberg.  No New Yorkers seem to have noticed the change.