TOKYO – President Obama bowed to Japan’s Emperor Akihito, much to the dismay of America’s Republicans!

I’m madder than a geisha in a tanning bed!

WASHINGTON, DC – The Health Care Bill may not be ready until 2010. President Obama has threatened to take away Senators’ winter vacation as a result.

I’m madder than a fat kid at the end of the buffet line when the rice pudding is all gone!

NEW YORK, NY – Last night in areas of Ohio, Indiana, Colorado, and Florida the President’s speech was interrupted by a newscast claiming aliens were attacking the United States.

WASHINGTON, DC – A government think tank has come up with a plan to put $10,000 cash in every family’s pocketbook…

I’m madder than a three-legged dog at a fire hydrant!

ST. LOUIS, MO – President Obama threw out the first pitch at the 2009 All-Star Game. But a certain little mutant made off with the ball!

WASHINGTON, DC – Alien warriors had planned to attack Earth this Saturday, but the doomsday invasion has been averted – thanks to President Obama’s secret negotiations!

I’m madder than Dan Rather with a busted microphone! Obama still hasn’t bought me a new TV, dammit.