UPDATE – Obatma is spending the first day of Kwanzaa with the Obama family!

Obatma, Obama’s half-bat half-brother, arrived yesterday in Honolulu to spend time with his newfound family. He was wearing a scarf bearing the pan-African colors of red, black and green, and carrying one of the Kwanzaa candles.

President-Elect Barack Obama briefly spoke to a small group of journalists a few blocks from his home, stating, “While our main celebration is Christmas, we were more than happy to join my brother in honoring his first Kwanzaa in these United States.”

When asked if there were any hiccups, Obama laughed and explained, “While our girls aren’t allowed to play with matches, Obatma was too excited about lighting the kinara for us to deny him. If I can admit I was wrong about the surge, I can admit that that was not our smartest decision. He was so nervous he dropped the candle and set the tablecloth on fire.”

Through tears and sign language, Obatma promised to use his allowance money to buy a new tablecloth.

December 25, 2008

HONOLULU, HI – Obatma has arrived in Hawaii to spend the holiday season with his new American family.

Although the Secret Service has clamped down on President-Elect Barack Obama’s holiday home, Obama was photographed yesterday spending time with Bat Boy.

Now a new picture has been released by a photographer who caught this heart-warming moment of Obatma arriving at the home. As the newly discovered half-bat half-brother of Barack, Obatma was invited to spend the holidays with the family.

It appears that the mutant has acclimated quickly to American culture, and decided to celebrate the African heritage holiday of Kwanzaa!

Check back tomorrow as Weekly World News works tirelessly to bring you updates.

CHICAGO, IL – President-Elect Barack Obama’s inauguration travel plans are harkening back to a time earlier than any had predicted.

It was recently reported that Obama and his family would be taking a train from Philadelphia to Washington D.C., stopping along the way to pick up Vice President-elect Joe Biden in Delaware. However, Emmett Beliveau, the executive director of the Presidential Inaugural Committee, has issued a statement to clarify Obama’s plans.

“President-Elect Barack Obama has chosen to ride horseback to his presidential inauguration. His decision honors the rich history and tradition of previous inaugural journeys, such as those of George Washington and Thomas Jefferson. His denial of automotive transport is also a statement against our dependency on foreign oil.

“Millions of citizens have expressed a desire to see Obama sworn in, but sadly, it is not possible to accommodate a number of that magnitude. By riding horseback out in the open through three states, we hope to include as many Americans as possible who wish to congratulate him.”

When asked by a CNN reporter if Michelle Obama and her children would be joining him, Beliveau laughed and shook his head. “Oh no no no, she and the girls will be taking the train. Michelle told him if he goes through with this, she doesn’t care if he’s the leader of the free world or a plumber, she doesn’t want to hear one peep about his sore behind.”

CHICAGO, IL – President-Elect Barack Obama has gone a step further in diversifying his transition team.

So far, Obama has named a number of openly gay people and people of color to his transition team. The team was created to lay out the agenda and priorities for the upcoming Obama Administration. Minority groups have applauded his efforts, but one group was left out until now.

Obama has been in talks to hire Xaxal, a well-known alien rights activist in the extraterrestrial community. His expertise alien-human relations makes him an exceptional candidate for one of the Agency Review teams. These teams provide the president-elect with information needed to make strategic policy, budgetary, and personnel decisions prior to the inauguration.

President George W. Bush has all but ignored even bringing alien rights to the table for the past eight years. Many extraterrestrials living in the United States are now looking to President-Elect Obama to make radical policy changes.

When pressed to explain at a recent press conference, Obama simply stated, “Look, I’ve known Xaxal for a long time. He attended Ykard University, the galactic sister school of Harvard Law, and has defended minority rights on 27 different planets in the last 300 years. If anyone else is more qualified in alien issues than him, I’d like to meet them!”

The reporter replied that the President-Elect had already met Cindy McCain, who had alleged relations with the Alien, but Obama quickly moved on to the next question.

GROOM LAKE, NV – Mega-celeb Oprah Winfrey has been in discussions with top government officials in an attempt to purchase Area 51.

In 1947, an alien spacecraft crashed in Roswell, New Mexico and the surviving aliens were brought to the Air Force base in southern Nevada known as Area 51.  The aliens have thrived and built a community that they have called home for over 60 years.

Oprah, a long-time supporter of aliens, has done countless shows promoting alien issues.  She does tailor the shows to also be applicable to human problems but contends, “Aliens are always at the center of it all.”  There is even speculation that she took a shine to Dr. Phil because he is part alien.

Winfrey’s plan is to turn the base into a full habitat for all alien cultures.  “I want this to be a welcome mat for visitors all over this wonderful world,” exclaimed a hopeful Oprah.  “It starts with this base and, hopefully, soon the whole state of Nevada will be a refuge for travelers and outcasts from everywhere.”

So far the Air Force, the Department of Energy and the National Security Council have all turned down Winfrey.  But she hopes that her endorsement of President-Elect Barack Obama will breathe new life into the one dream that she hasn’t been able to make come true.

GUANTANAMO BAY, CUBA – Rumors that President-elect Barack Obama will close the Guantanamo Bay prison has left more than just humans concerned.

It is being reported that Obama’s advisers are currently drafting a plan to move terrorism suspects to the United States to face criminal trials. As soon as the rumors started circulating, the Chaos Cloud appeared above the Guantanamo Bay prison and has not moved since.

It is widely believed that the Chaos Cloud is nonpartisan.  In fact, it seems to have completely non-human motives, but scientists have been unable to discern much beyond its desire to keep chaos under control until its final descent in 2014.

Chaos Cloud specialists have stated that the Cloud is warning disagreeing parties to keep it civil, lest it must come down and make us. Decmocrats and Republicans have agreed to stay calm, as no one wants to see what the Cloud would have in store for us.

CHICAGO, IL – President-Elect Barack Obama will soon be appointing members to his cabinet, and insiders are predicting one surprising addition.

While it is still early yet, speculations have already begun on who Obama will be selecting to join his presidential cabinet in January 2009. Names like John Kerry, Caroline Kennedy, Colin Powell and Bill Richardson have been bandied about, but one name in particular stands out: Obatma.

When asked about the possibility at a brief press conference, Obama explained, “Look, I want to clarify, this would not be an act of nepotism. Obatma is an intelligent, cool-headed mutant, wise beyond his years.

“If he were ready, willing and able to take the position, I would happily make him the Commissioner of my newly created Bureau of Mutant Affairs.”

Obatma was unavailale for comment, as he is currently in the swamps of Gallatin County taking a well-earned break from campaigning for Obama.