VANCOUVER – At a Canadian luncheon last week, former President Bush said, “I did not sell my soul.” Satan has disputed his statement.

Dick Cheney is writing his memoirs. Weekly World News has acquired an advance look at the torrid tale of his relationship with President Bush.

I was happier than Lindsay Lohan at an open bar to see President George Bush – “W. the Great”— back in the saddle yesterday!

Can you believe it? Good old George W. Bush just raised $100-million for his Presidential library in only 100 days! So much for the crappy economy!

I’m madder than a terrorist with a plugged up toilet about Guantanamo Bay!

WASHINGTON, DC – Continuing the tradition, outgoing President Bush left a personal note to the new President Obama in the Oval Office.

My heart’s as broken as the Liberty Bell about saying goodbye to President Bush.

Last week, I visited the White House for a farewell lunch with the great man.

WASHINGTON, DC – A federal judge has ordered the emails of the Bush administration be surrendered to the courts, and Weekly World News has some!

CRAWFORD, TX – Bush Administration officials have announced the latest recipient of a Presidential pardon.

WASHINGTON, DC – President Bush’s unlucky week continued as another shoe wielding reporter attacked him at an intergalactic press junket.