I’m madder than a sick old coot with a rusty bedpan! You can make fun all you want, but those “Death Panels” are no joke!

I’m madder than Al Sharpton with a broken megaphone!

I’m madder than a flea on a soapy dog! There’s this crazy rumor going around the computers that I’m dead!

I’m madder than Ted Kennedy at a cash bar! Today’s May 1, the big commie holiday.

I’m madder than Ben Franklin with a busted kite!

Here’s one my grandson told me: “What’s the difference between Jesus and Obama? Jesus knew how to build a cabinet!”

I’m madder than Sigmund Freud with a busted stogie about that crazy woman at the New York Times!