SOUTHAMPTON, U.K. -   An elite squad of U.K. officers successfully captured a stuffed tiger.

A stuffed tiger sparked a major armed police alert in Southampton, England.

An elite team of  “Police Seals” were called in to tame a life-size tiger, using armored tanks and “Seal” helicopters.

The alert was raised by several members of the public yesterday afternoon when they spotted what they believed to be a live white tiger in a field near Hedge End, Southampton, Hampshire.

The police helicopter was scrambled and a golf course cleared after police arrived at the scene and confirmed the sighting.

Armed police were called to the scene in case the animal came too close to members of the public.

Specialist staff from nearby Marwell Zoo also attended to advise and potentially tranquillize the wild animal.

A local golf course was evacuated and plans were put in place to close the nearby M27 motorway if necessary in case the tiger moved in that direction.

But as police officers carefully approached the ”wild animal” they realised it was not moving and the helicopter crew, using thermal imaging equipment, realised there was no heat source coming from it.

A spokeswoman for the force said: ”After a brief stalk through the Hedge End savannah, the officer realised the tiger was not moving and the air support using their cameras realised there was a lack of heat source.

‘The tiger then rolled over in the down draft and it was at that point it became obvious it was a stuffed life-size toy.

”This incident will definitely be the highlight of our day. The CCTV footage convinced us all we were dealing with a real tiger.

”It’s not often an incident leaves our staff with a smile on their face and it just goes to show the diverse type of incident we are called to deal with.”

Releasing a photo of the toy tiger, a force spokeswoman said: ”The toy tiger is life-size and is like one that you would win at a fair.

”It is being treated as lost property but we don’t know how it came to be in the field and whether it may have been a hoax.”

Let’s go to the videotape:

SWITZERLAND – A cannibal has been arrested after his “dinner guest” changed his mind and called the cops.

The would-be victim from Switzerland answered an internet advert from the 43-year-old man seeking someone who would agree to be killed, cooked and eaten.

He claims he thought the offer — posted by a man in Slovakia — was nothing more than a “macabre fantasy game”.

But he said after speaking to the unnamed man on the phone, he realised he was “deadly serious”.

He alerted Swiss police who informed their Slovakian counterparts on Monday.
The cops sent in an undercover officer posing as the victim in a sting operation to catch the suspected flesh-eater.

But as officers attempted to arrest the man yesterday, in the north-eastern village of Kysak, a gunfight broke out and the man and a cop were shot.

A Kysak police spokesman said: “It appears this man was genuinely seeking to eat someone.

“His ad said he wanted someone who would agree to be put to sleep then killed, cut up, cooked and eaten.

“One of our officers and the suspect both suffered gunshot wounds during the arrest and are both being treated in hospital.”

LONDON – Thousands of bees that were part of a million dollar research project have been stolen!

The British black bees, worth between $6,000 and $15,000 each were taken from the grounds of the a British Hospital in Newell on Sunday morning.

They were contained in four hives and were being used in a £2m neuroscience study at Dundee University.

The lead researcher on the project, Dr Chris Connolly, said the thieves must have known how to handle bees.

“It is very disheartening that this has happened and, whilst we are still taking stock of the full implications if the bees are not returned, this theft will undoubtedly hamper our research,” Dr Connolly said.

“The bees were there when I arrived at work on Sunday morning but were absent when I went to work on them 20 minutes later.

“Two middle-aged men in a white van were seen pulling up beside the hives at this time and clearly whoever did this knows what they were doing and how to handle bees.”

“Important research,” Dr Connolly said the bees were unique and should be easy to identify.

It is not known whether they were stolen for their breeding potential or for another reason.

The study was investigating the potential effect of pesticides on bee learning and health.

The scientist added: “This is very important research given the decline in honeybee numbers so I would urge anyone with information to get in touch with the police.”

The cedar wood hives, made by Thorne, were taken from the grassy area to the south of the East Block at Ninewells Hospital.

Tayside Police said they were keen to trace a white box van and two men that were seen in the area some time before 1000 BST on Sunday.

One of the men was wearing a bonnet.

TORONTO -  The water-powered jetpack is ready for lift-off and now available for consumers!

A jetpack created for use by the average citizen is now available.  Canadian inventor Raymond Li came up with a new kind of jetpack that is water-powered and will allow the flyer to hover 1000 feet in the air and zoom at speeds up to 52 miles per hour.   The jetpack will be available in May and will cost around $120,000, but could soon cost as little as $20,000.

The City of Miami has already made a commitment to buy water-powered jetpacks to help combat crime and protect their citizens..  They have ordered 15,000 jetpacks for their police, fire department and emergency service personnel.

Miami Police Chief, Miguel Exposito, who has come under fire in recent days, told the pres, “We will use these jetpacks to fight crime across the city.  We are already training 1,000 Jetpack Officers, who will hit the skies in early June.”

The water-powered jetpack, named Jetlev, initially required the flyer to be above water attached to a water hose, but Fritz Barnkopf, an American inventor, modified it (with Li’s approval) and the JetLev can store water that will provide a user up to three hours of use.  You will be able to fly anywhere you want to go!

You will be able to rent or buy the JetLev.  Some communities in-and-around Miami are setting up a JetPack Share Program to allow individuals to share a particular Jetpack.

Barnkopf explained how the Jetpack works. “Your horizontal distance is only limited by flight time… and you can scoot around at 45 mph for up to two hours.”  Barnkopf went on to say that the Jetlev isn’t all that dangerous. “Falling 30 feet  might not be pleasant, but it is not going kill you if you are wearing the proper Jetpack Pads and Jetpack Helmets.”

Below is a promo video of the Jetlev in action.  The U.S. version (designed by Barnkopf),  is in final production in Detroit.  It will be white and made of fiberglass, not carbon fiber.

NAPLES – Cell phone guns are being used by the Mafia, and criminals, all around the world.
European law enforcement officials were stunned by the discovery of these deadly guns in recent months.  Authorities say cell phone guns are changing the rules of engagement in Europe.  It’s a dangerous new weapon for criminals and terrorists.

There have been 72 people killed throughout Europe in the last three months – victims of the cell phone gun.  12 of those murdered have been TSA employees.  Two have been members of the British Military.

The Mafia have been using cell phone guns for the last decade, but now they are readily available to anyone – and can be easily found in major cities across the world.

Underneath the digital phone face is a .22 caliber handgun capable of firing four rounds in rapid succession using the standard telephone keypad.

Only when you have one in your hand do you realize that they are heavier than a regular cell phone.   You can’t notice the gun with the naked eye.  One minute the man across from you is talking to his mother about dinner, the next thing you know his pointing his cell phone at you and shooting you.

This is why security screeners around the world are asking passengers to look at their cell phones or turn them on. They want to make sure that your cell phone is just a cell phone and that  you don’t have any bullets loaded in your cellphone.  They want to make sure you are not packing heat in your cell.

Some feel that there is a downside to the cell phone gun.  “Yeah, if I’m on a train or a bus, and somebody’s talking loud on their cell phone, I can pull out my cell phone gun and make them shut up,”  said Tony Garzo of Yonkers, New York.  ‘I think it would come in handy.”

Here’s an officer in Naples showing a cell phone gun.

This is where the bullets get loaded.

It’s not to be confused with the Gun Cell Phone.  This is a gun that has a phone built into the handle.  You might need to make a phone call when your blowing someone away.

And authorities throughout Europe have recently confiscated a number of machine-gun cell phones.

There are reports that there is an iPhone  Gun being developed.  Not to be outdone, there will be a bunch of Android cell phone guns – both 3G and 4G.   And of course, there will be a Google Gun.

Talk and load…

KEY LARGO, FL – Manigator flees arrest at a McCain rally where he bit a man he claimed was “Un-American.”

During a rally for the Republican presidential candidate, proceedings were halted by a sudden commotion at the back of the open air venue.  A young Latino man was flailing hysterically at what appeared to be a small alligator biting his pants, while screaming “I told you man, I’m Puerto Rican!”

After being shaken loose, the creature yelled back, “Damn Mexicans, taking our jobs!” He then went on to make lurid passes at several of the campaign’s interns. The small cryptid slurred much of his speech and witnesses say he smelled of cheap whiskey.

Police and wildlife officers arrived on the scene shortly thereafter to apprehend the manigator. However, he avoided capture for thirty minutes while shouting expletives about being denied free speech.  Eventually he was able to slip under a fence and make a run back to the swamp.

Police tracked Manigator through the swamp for hours, following a trail of menthol cigarette packs and frequent yells of “Get ‘er Done!”

The human-reptile hybrid is still at large.