NUNAVUT — The Arctic Fence that protects North America from frigid temperatures and brutal winds has collapsed!

Arctic meteorologists have released a report that explains the record-breaking snowfall and below average temperatures experienced all along the Eastern seaboard this winter. The Arctic Fence, which once protected the cold weather and held it in its place, is gone.

Dr. Madeleine Akumalik, who led the study, explained.

“We’re shocked, really. We went out to check on the fence, which is a translucent geothermal wall. It basically retains the cold weather and keeps it in the north. Our fears were verified by the satellite imagery. Last winter, we could see the Arctic Fence from space. This year, there isn’t even a shadow or a crack where it used to be. The only explanation is that it has collapsed into the Arctic Ocean.”

Dr. Akumalik continued, “We knew it was warmer, but we didn’t know it would be warmer forever. Our whole way of life has to change. No more ice fishing, no more ice trucking, no more polar bear hunting.”

The report is sending shock waves throughout North America.

According to The Nunavut News, the Arctic Fence typically keeps the extremely cold air in places like northeastern Canada and Greenland. But scientists have determined that this “weather wall” lost its strength in early December and sent a winter’s worth of bone-chilling temperatures directly south.

In the mean time, warmer temperatures have pushed north. Throughout the Canadian Territories, and even north of the Arctic Circle, temperatures in December ran at least 20 degrees above normal. Ice fishing and trade routes have been seriously disrupted.   Eskimos are losing their igloos at an alarming rate!

In Iqaluit, the capital of Nunavut, the annual  snowmobile parade had to be canceled. The locals are organizing and demanding action.

“We want our snow back!” cried Elisapie Aragutak during a demonstration in Iqaluit. “We need it! We depend on it! It’s not fair, America doesn’t even want the snow! We need the snow and the ice and the wind! Give it back!”

When asked for an explanation, Dr. Akumalik, one of the leading meteorologists in the Nunavut territory, further detailed this new weather reality.

“Ice reflects sunlight. We know that the Arctic has been losing ice for years. There is less ice so the Arctic Ocean is absorbing more heat in the summer. We’ve been getting stuck with warmer air.”

“This winter, our Canadian buffer zone, the protective layer known as the Arctic Fence, finally gave way and released all of the cold air behind its wall. This means it’s snowing in Boston and sunny on the Hudson Bay. It’s a drastic change for the territories, and for southern Canada and the States too. Nobody likes it. Especially not the polar bears.”

Does this mean Americans will all freeze to death?  Maybe… just maybe.

CANADA – A small town in Canada is becoming famous for its much larger residents!

The small and quiet town of Churchill Manitoba, with a population of a little over 900, is gaining a lot of notoriety for its polar bears. Churchill is located on the shore of Hudson Bay. The polar bears move toward the lake shore from inland in the fall and have provided the town with the nickname, “Polar Bear Capital of the World.” Thanks to the bears, the town has experienced an explosion in the tourism industry.

Churchill is a very famous location for Arctic research and the town has more to offer than just polar bears. It has above average restaurants, tour operators, several hotels and a health centre.

The town offers tours for individuals who want to see the polar bears up close. Groups are shuttled aboard “Tundra Buggies,” all-terrain vehicles resembling a cross between a school bus and a monster truck. Tours usually run from early October to mid-November. It’s suggested that tours be booked early, up to a year, as this hidden gem is gaining national exposure and becoming very popular.

JUNEAU, AK – Sarah Palin has landed the cover of Portfolio’s April 2009 issue with a photo of her wearing a Bigfoot skin coat, and she is not pleased.

Joe McGinniss’ cover story, “Palin and Wildlife: The Cold Hard Truth”, focuses on her terrible track record when dealing with wildlife conservation. She has opposed strengthening protections for beluga whales and polar bears, and has encouraged the control of wolf populations through promoting bounties and aerial hunting.

But the most damning charges pertain to the treatment of Sasquatches in Alaska. As loyal Weekly World News readers may recall, Sarah Palin posed with a Bigfoot she shot dead from a helicopter.

Since then she has constantly battled with conservationists over placing them on the Endangered Species list. As a seemingly provocative move, Portfolio used a photo of Palin wearing a Bigfoot skin coat, possibly the skin of the creature she shot last year.

Palin spokesman Bill McAllister has already released a statement about the piece: “Show me one shred of truth for this accusation: ‘Palin has systematically targeted the Sasquatch population time and time again.’ Senator Palin’s first and foremost responsibility is to the citizens of Alaska. She must protect them and their livelihood from these creature.”

“If that means not bending over backwards for radical conversationists, then so be it. She is ready and willing to take on their criticism, when it is fair and factual.”

Ashley Judd, a recent foe of Palin, is already planning a new video with the World Cryptid Federation in order to bring Palin’s treatment of Sasquatches to light. Judd will shoot on location in Alaska, where she will be filmed handfeeding a pack of Sasquatches Twinkies to prove they are not dangerous.