NEW YORK, NY – This past weekend was not a good one for the world of Playstation and Sony!

Sony’s Playstation Network (PSN) went into crisis mode this weekend. The network was logging users out of the service and preventing them from playing online games. The problem didn’t stop there. Users also reported that previously downloaded games could not be played offline and any trophies won in games disappeared from the console.

Sony has said that it is aware of the problem and has continually posted updates on both their PS3 blog and their Twitter stream. The issue, however, seems to only affect the original big PS3s. The PS3 slim has remained unaffected as of now.

Sony is working overtime to have the problem fixed by today. The source of the problem has yet to be revealed however. Anecdotal evidence points to a combination of DRM and firmware issues. The error code many saw was “8001050F – Hardware failure. Cannot update Firmware or connec to Internet.”

Such a message has led many to believe that a firmware bug screwed up the date and/or connectivity, and the gamer’s DRM was thrown into a panic because of it.

“We have narrowed down the issue and have engineers working to restore service. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause you, and genuinely appreciate your patience while we work to resolve this,” Sony said in a statement.

SKOKIE, IN – Weekly World News has uncovered the extraterrestrial origins of Rock Band 2.

Rock Band 2, the popular music game, was actually created by aliens looking for the most talented players in the universe to save their planet with the power of rock.

Indiana native Mark Handler recently returned to Earth from the Orion Nebula where the fate of Planet Grohl was decided in an interstellar Battle of the Bands.

Grohlians, using the controls of their own native instruments, created the game which would act as a test to find the most talented players in the galaxy. Four players were then recruited to help save their planet from the invading forces of Ryloth.

Mark Handler of Skokie was taken by the aliens shortly after getting a perfect score on the final hidden song. At roughly 4:30AM, after an all night binge, Handler finally nailed the drum solo on Hyperspeed Lateralus Medley by Tool. The song is noted for using a time signature yet to be deciphered by human mathematicians. After receiving his score, his Playstation 3 sent a signal to a waiting satellite, and within minutes Mr. Handler was picked up to save the Planet Grohl.

The Ryloth band, whose name translates to “Ironic Purveyors of Death”, played Ace of Spades by Motorhead, but lost points for using acid during a guitar solo to literally melt faces in the first three rows. The Grohlian’s band saved the planet with playing Living on a Prayer by Bon Jovi.

On a key riff during Living on a Prayer, all four players went into Overdrive, sending the crowd into hysterics and thoroughly vanquishing the Ryloths, who vowed “Next time. Next Time!”

Mr. Handler was invited to live on Planet Grohl, but said he preferred living in his parents’ basement and working at the local movie theater.