MOREHEAD CITY, N.C. – An anchor from the wreck of the pirate Blackbeard’s flagship has been raised from the ocean floor.

Archaeologists believe the anchor recovered Friday is from the Queen Anne’s Revenge, which sank in 1718. That was five months before Blackbeard was killed in a battle.

The artifact is the third-largest item at the shipwreck, outsized only by two other anchors.

Researchers retrieved the anchor from the shipwreck about 20 feet under water and were bringing it to shore. The work to retrieve it began last week. The anchor is about 11 feet long.

The recovery coincides with the release this month of “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.” The movie features both Blackbeard and the Queen Anne’s Revenge.

WEST BURKE, NH – Gun shop sells hand gun to an eight year old.

Federal law states that a person must be at least 21 years old in order to purchase a handgun. And most states tend to have the same age limitations. However, New Hampshire, known to be one of the most liberal states in the union when it comes to gun control, has no laws restricting the age at which a person may possess and carry firearms and little specification as to how old an individual must be in order to purchase one. In addition to the vague age requirements, New Hampshire also does not require state licensing for the purchase of any rifle, shotgun or handgun.

Earlier this week, Timmy Johnson, age 8, was able to walk into and purchase this 1951 Iraqi made Tariq 9mm Beretta from Bobby Joe’s Gun Emporium with little to no problem. And the most amazing part is that he did it all by himself.

Parents groups throughout the nation are appalled by the sale. Several groups claim that this lack of regard for the safety and well-being of the nation’s youth will only increase the potential for more Columbine style massacres.

However, many New Hampshire residents see things differently.

“If we teach are kids about guns at a younger age and show them how to use them, there will surely be a decrease in deaths caused by children and guns. We need to demystify the gun for America’s youth,” said New Hampshire native, Jim Grossman.

New Hampshire gun extremists groups feel that there is nothing wrong with the sale either.

“Several countries that support terrorism are enlisting children at a younger and younger age. If we do not let our kids get their hands on guns sooner, they are never going to have the same level of experience as those micro-terrorists.”

Several rouge militia groups throughout the U.S. have also come to the defense of Bobby Joe, stating, “American children don’t even seem to know what guns are, much less how to hold them or use them. If we do not change things fast, the future of our military and our freedom is doomed.”

Bobby Joe had little to say other than this. “He said he was old enough and I agree. What the hell difference does it make? Most of the kids in this country are pansies anyway. They all need to stop being coddled by mommy after they lose a soccer game, get their hands on some guns, and defend our freedom!

LONDON – BAE Systems,  British based defense company has come up with a green laser that effectively blinds an approaching pirate vessel.

Green laser technology has been used by the US military in several wars in the Middle East but until now has not been available on a commercial level.

“I plan to buy this tomorrow,” said Thurston Billingsly IV, “I need all the protection that I can get when I set out to sea on my  250 foot yacht, Naut a Care!.”

One of BAE’s biggest challenges was to create a laser that could not only work over a long distance, but also not blind anyone in the process. The United Nations has banned weapons that have been designed to cause permanent blindness.

And although BAE claims to have achieved this, many pirates around the world have voiced concerns about the use of this new technology.

“Arrrrgh! This could potentially blind some of our best pirates, many of which only have one eye to begin with,” said Captain Morgan, pirate spokesperson and producer of delicious rum.

Some pirates have already developed defenses against the lasers. They quickly discovered that they could simply bounce the lasers back to the vessel of origin by using mirrors.  They soon also realized that this technique assisted them in their ability to board and take over the ship.  Other less intelligent pirates have decided to play Dark Side of the Moon,  sit back and just enjoy the show. Others just were sunglasses.

The International Chamber Of Commerce’s International Maritime Bureau said there were approximately 430 pirate attacks worldwide in 2010. BAE hopes that their new defense system will reduce that figure by 30% by the end of 2011.

Sunday, September 19 is International Talk Like A Pirate Day.

Yo Ho!  Get your pirate on!  Everyone across the globe MUST talk like a pirate today – all  day.  Drink plenty of rum too, and greet everyone you know with a hearty “Ahoy, matey!”

Maybe watch your favorite pirate movie:

The holiday was created by when John Baur and Mark Summers looked at the calendar in 1996, they saw a lot of goofy holidays, like World Health Day and Constitution Day, but they didn’t see any holidays that were cool and, most importantly, they didn’t see any international holidays in late September.  So, to remedy that situation, the two men started International Talk Like A Pirate Day as a way to get interjections like “Arrr!” and “Avast!” back into common parlance.

Aaaaaargh!  Ye holiday was born!

Baur and Summers, AKA Ol’ Chumbucket and Cap’n Slappy, take their pirate-themed day all out, as you can see above.  Not only do they talk like a pirate, they also have pirate accessories and even party like pirates!  Ye should do the same, even though it be a Sunday and ye probably have to work tomorrow.  At least ye can order yer dinner at Long John Silver’s and wash it down with a pint of grog.

And there is a new  “Talk Like a Pirate” app for the Apple iPhone. It’s been around since 2009 and costs just 99 cents. The application is simple; just say something and you will hear what it is like when spoken like a true pirate.There are a number of cool features to the app, one is that you can send a recording of your pirate voice to a friend, and if for some reason you run out of things to say – then the 180 terms that come pre-loaded will be at your disposal.

Here’s Ol’ Chumbucket and Cap ‘n Slappy talking about the holiday:

And their website is HERE

And here’s Johnny Depp warming up for Talk Like A Pirate Day.

Aaaaaaargh!!!

The thunder of Zeus be upon me this time, mortals.  I have failed you.  And I’m a big enough god to admit it. It is difficult for me to do this, but my sponsor, Demeter, has convinced me that the path to recovery begins with honesty.

And so I must confess that while the ships of men were engaged in a life-or-death struggle on my seas, I was nowhere to be found.  In fact, I only knew about it after the battle was done.  The fact is, mortals, that I, the great and terrible Poseidon, was on a bit of a bender.  I had drunk deep from the nectar of Bacchus and breathed heavily from the smoke of the oracle, and was pretty much out to lunch the whole time.

The divine truth is this: I have a problem.

O, cursed fate!  That this immortal life should yield such despair, such weakness!  I used to be bigger than Jesus.  I used to be Jesus.  Men worshipped me, prayed to me.  Lived and died at the mercy of my whims.  And then, in an eye-blink of eternity, it was all suddenly gone, leaving me holding the bag.  (I keep the fates in a bag since my divorce.)

Then, the millennia of waiting.  The silence, the banal, evil, crushing silence of mankind.  Some of we Olympians began to doubt the very existence of your souls, leaving a great void in our spiritual life.  For what meaning can there be to a world of clockmakers without clocks?  What is a god without his creations?  If men did not exist, it would become necessary to invent them.  And who wants to go through that whole business again?

But I chose faith.  I chose to see what was clear before my eyes, that your souls were indeed there—only astray.  Your prayers were not absent; they were simply directed elsewhere.  And with a little patience, a little grace, I might hear them again.

I wish I could say that my faith has been unwavering.  But I have been tested, mortals.  And your silence fills me with a sadness so deep I can only fill it with wine, and an anger so hot I can only cool it with bong water.  I am omnipotent, mortals, but I’m not perfect!

So I was not there to see your standoff.  But it wouldn’t have mattered anyway.  I was not called upon.  No prayers reached me.  Even in a crisis on the seas seen round the world, no one saw me, the one true god of the deep.

But I do not ask for your pity, mortals.  I still rule the oceans.  I am still master of all things wet.  I still carry your pitiful lives in my hands.  I am a great and terrible god, and you shall soon learn to worship me as of old!

In the meantime, though, my name is Poseidon, and I’m an addict.

I’m happier than a parrot in a cracker factory! Our great Navy SEALS rescued that ship’s captain – and killed three of the pirates, too! (Isn’t it amazing how they train those things to shoot guns? Must be some tasty sardines they give them for treats…)

The bad news is: one of the pirates is still alive. He’s coming back here to go on trial. That’s crazy!

I can tell you just what’ll happen. First, he’ll complain that the Navy didn’t read him his rights in whatever language they speak in Oongaboongaland. Then some famous lawyer will take his case and say the poor guy was driven to a life of crime because he came from a broken home – his father only had TWO wives!

The trial will cost us millions of dollars. Sure, the jury will find him guilty (unless he get’s O.J.’s) but so what? Spending your life in an American prison will seem like heaven or whatever those people believe in, compared to his old life in Oongaboongaland!

College kids will wear FREE THE PIRATE t-shirts with his face on it. Then he’ll get released on a technicality. Every university in America will want to make him a professor, like they did with all those hippie bombers.

Hollywood will make a movie about the pirate’s life, about how he was framed. Will Smith will play him cuz he’ll be good at waving the machine gun around, then looking all sad and misunderstood, reading books in his cell.

That pirate will end up with a cushier life than the ship’s captain! If that doesn’t make you yell “ARRRGGGHHHH!”, then your peg leg’s not screwed on straight!

DJIBOUTI – The Somali pirates, renegade Somalis known for hijacking ships for ransom in the Gulf of Aden, are negotiating a purchase of Citigroup.

The pirates would buy Citigroup with new debt and their existing cash stockpiles, earned most recently from hijacking numerous ships, including most recently a $200 million Saudi Arabian oil tanker. The Somali pirates are offering up to $0.10 per share for Citigroup, pirate spokesman Sugule Ali said earlier today.

The negotiations have entered the final stage. Ali stated, “You may not like our price, but we are not in the business of paying for things. Be happy we are in the mood to offer the shareholders anything at all.”

The pirates will finance part of the purchase by selling new Pirate Ransom Backed Securities.  The PRBS’s are backed by future ransom payments from hijackings in the Gulf of Aden.  Moody’s and S&P have already issued their top investment grade ratings for the PRBS’s.

Head pirate Ubu Kalid Shandu said, “We need a bank so that we have a place to keep all of our ransom money.  Thankfully, the dislocations in the capital markets have allowed us to purchase Citigroup at an attractive valuation and to take advantage of TARP capital to grow the business even faster.”

Shandu added, “We don’t call ourselves pirates. We’re coast guards. This will just allow us to guard our coasts better.”