BREAKING NEWS!

These drawings were found left behind on Palin’s debate notes last night showing both her belief in what should be taught in schools but also her view on the natural evolution of woman. The images show Palin evolving from Christian obedience, gunslinging hunter, patriotic beauty queen, and expectant wife to Governor Mother.

These drawings give further backing to the rumored leak of confidential papers expanding on Palin’s faith-friendly approach to school science, “Palintology”.

Apparently, evolution, global warming, carbon dating, and dinosaurs will be presented as theories which children are welcome to disregard if they choose.   During tests, students will have the option of providing a traditional scientific answer or saying “God did it.”  Any answer the student gives will be seen as equally valid and protected by their First Amendment rights.

“Many natural processes,” Palin writes, “are too complicated to be fully understood.  Godly intervention is just as legitimate as any other scientific theory. I mean, there’s a reason why bananas are ideal for human consumption. Do you think evolution made it so perfectly hand-sized?

“Maybe ‘Darwinism’ used to make sense, but we’ve got guns now. Survival of the fittest doesn’t apply anymore.”

Critics in the scientific world remain livid, but many Americans feel its the only way to take their classrooms back. It is rumored Palintology has drawn support from celebrities including former “Growing Pains” star Kirk Cameron and Mel Gibson.

Thursday, October 2, 2008
Republican insiders are abuzz with speculation that Sarah Palin may reveal during tonight’s Vice Presidential debate a faith-friendly take on science the Governor calls ‘Palintology’ in an effort to sway voters.

Hoping to galvanize Republicans in time for the election Governor Palin has released a system for public school science classes which she says “leaves room for faith.” Conservatives are hailing the idea as an appropriate middle ground.

Stay tuned for additional reporting!