PATERSON, NJ  -  Chris Christie and Barack Obama inked a deal to play Abbott & Costello in a remake of a classic film – Abbott & Costello meet Frankenstein.

This weekend President Barack Obama flew to New Jersey to survey the flood damage.    He was met at the airport by New Jersey Governor, Chris Christie.  The two men immediately hit it off.

“It was like they were best friends their whole lives,” said a source closet to President Obama.  “They both love Earth, Wind & Fire, they’re both lawyers and they both love junk food.  They were like ‘brothers from a different mother.’”

Hollywood Producer Harvey Weinstein was also with the two political leaders and he immediately saw the cinematic potential of the two men working together on-screen.  He told them they should play Abbott & Costello in a movie.

The two men immediately took to the idea and they stood up and did the “Who’s On First” skit, which surprisingly both men had memorized.

Chris Christie is the perfect portly size to play Lou Abbott and Barack Obama is slim enough, and tall enough, to be Bud  Costello.    Abbott is described usually as  dumb and happy and Costello is clever and sly.  They are perfect.

“It was amazing to watch them together,” said Jay Carney, the White House Press Secretary. Chris Christie does a dead-on impersonation of Lou Abbott and Barack Obama just kills as his straight man.

Weinstein signed both men up for a remake of the classic film, “Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein.”  The men agreed to the terms quickly.   “The only part of the deal where there was some conflict was about the role of Frankenstein.  “Christie wanted George Soros to play Frankenstein, and Barack Obama wanted Rush Limbaugh to play Frankenstein.”  In the end they settled on Justin Bieber for the role.  “They want to have full star power for the movie,” Weinstein said.

Weinstein said the film won’t start shooting until both men have more time – which he speculated would be in February 2013.

Christie and Obama are already in meetings about their new roles.

NEW YORK, NY – New York state, desperate for money, has agreed to sell Coney Island to the Merpeople.

After realizing that recent tax increases would not be able to bring in enough income, Governor Paterson sent word to the Merpeople to help raise extra funds for the state.

The Merpeople have been looking into buying property for the past several months after signing a major deal with BP for oil rights.  With their new found wealth, they are looking into acquiring a vacation resort which they can sink below water and use.  Talks with Hawaii, Ibiza, and the Jersey Shore have all fallen through.

Governor Paterson offered the underwater race the option of purchasing Coney Island, a popular vacation destination whose future has been uncertain for some time now.

Coney Island, a famous haven for sideshow culture, is surprisingly resistant to being annexed by a race of Merpeople.  A petition against the sale was signed by 99 of the local sideshow performers and nailed into the nose of Jim-Jim the Undying.  One man said, through a mouthful of broken glass, “Our issue isn’t with mer-culture.  We just don’t want to lose our homes when they bring the island underwater.”

Earlier this week a meeting was held where representatives from City Hall and the Kingdom of Merpeople came together to finalize the deal.  A human-oddity chain was formed around the proceedings and the protesters sang “Give Freaks a Chance.”

Governor Patterson tried to throw in Staten Island to sweeten the deal; however, no one wants Staten Island.