LOS ANGELES – 94-year-old Zsa Zsa Gabor is pregnant with Prince Frederic von Anhalt’s baby.

Zsa Zsa Gabor has always lived life to the fully, and crazy!… This time she’s outdone herself.

Her husband of 25 years, Prince Frederic von Anhalt, told WWN that Zsa Zsa wanted to become a mother again.

He told WNN  that he went through the process of donor matching and blood work, and sperm donation, that turned Zsa Zsa into Ma Ma.

The original plan was to use an egg donor, artificial insemination and a surrogate mother, but Zsa Zsa wanted to carry the baby herself. SO, doctors implanted an artificial womb into the 94-year-old celebrity.

The embryo contains whatthe Prince called “his golden sperm” and an egg that Zsa Zsa convinced Paris Hilton to donate.  Conrad Hilton was one of Zsa Zsa’s husbands.

The embryo was placed into the artificial womb and the AW was placed into  Zsa Zsa’s body.

In nine months, if Zsa Zsa is still allive, doctors will remove the baby from the artificial womb and Zsa Zsa will be declared the oldest woman ever to deliver a baby.

It’s even more remarkable because Gabor has suffered major health problems in the last year including hip replacement surgery and a leg amputation.

Why in the world would the Prince agree to do this?  He said he wants someone to be able to carry on the Gabor name.  Zsa Zsa’s only child is daughter Francesca Hilton (daughter of hotel magnate Conrad Hilton, Zsa Zsa’s second husband).  Hilton is, not surprisingly, shocked by the whole thing.

Zsa Zsa Gabor has been the glamor queen of film and television over the course of a five-decade career.  She married nine times, and was even able to parlay a famous slap of a police officer into a career revival.

The Huffington Post recently called her “the first and probably biggest Hollywood celebrity to become famous for being famous.”

And now… the world’s oldest mother, with an artificial womb implant.

TANZANIA – The World’s Fattest Giraffe was caught on camera yesterday!

It is hard to believe that, It is world’s fattest Giraffe. It is alive  and roaming around  Tanzania.

Giraffes are the tallest land mammals on the planets, but this giraffe – nicknamed Shackie – is the fattest of the tallest.

The average mass for an adult male giraffe is 1,200 kilograms (2,600 lb) while the average mass for an adult female is 2,600 pounds.  It is approximately 14 ft to 17 ft tall, although the tallest male recorded stood almost 20 ft.

Shackie, a female, beats all those physical attributes – by a long neck.   Shackie is 22 ft., tall and weighs 5,100 pounds.  By comparison the average adult elephant weights 4.6 tons – about twice as much as Shackie.

But Shackie is taller and run faster.  The average giraffe runs about 35 mph, but Shackie has been clocked at about 52 mph, which is amazing considering she’s so fat.

Unfortunately, there are some giraffe hunters out there trying to bag Shackie.   “She’s a big target and everyone wants a piece of her,” said Tanzania wildlife expert, Professor Susan Begley of Mzumbe University.   “We are trying to do everything we can to protect Shackie, but we are still very concerned.”

Many countries are trying to make a deal with Tanzania to bring the animal to their zoos.  Sweden has the inside track on getting Shackie for the Kolmarden Zoo in Stockholm.  Swedish supermodel, Anna Hofverberg, was sent to Tanzania to represent the country and she made quite an impression on the Tanzanian citizens.  “She’s the most beautiful woman we have ever seen,” said Jakaya Kikwete, President of Tanzania.  “She also knows a lot about giraffes. She made a compelling case for the Swedish zoo.”

Unfortunately, the United States is NOT in the running to get Shackie.  “We thought Paris Hilton would be a good choice as an ambassador to get Shackie for the San Diego Zoo, but we made a mistake,” said San Diego Zookeeper, Greg Hayes.  Apparently, Paris Hilton didn’t know the difference between giraffes and elephants. “They’re both African animals. How was I supposed to know the difference?”  said Hilton.

Either way, Shackie lives and is… The World’s Fattest Giraffe!

HOLLYWOOD – Perez Hilton, 2.0 – the softer, kinder version – has opened a stuffed animal zoo.

Celebrity blogger extraordinaire has promised that he will be a nicer guy from now on.  And as a first step to a more cuddly Perez, he has decided to open the world’s first Stuffed Animal Zoo.   It’s called the Perez Stuffed Animal Zoo — or PSaz!

Perez is especially excited about getting a rare stuffed Panda doll from southeast china.  Here is the doll,  Pre Pre, named after Carried Prejean who famously had to handle a tough Miss USA question from Perez.

Perez called Prejean a “dumb bitch” but now he’s backing off and is just calling her “unintelligent.’   Prejean likes the new Perez and has said she wants to be one of the first to the Perez Stuffed Animal Zoo.   She wants to pet one of his ponies.

Perez is serious about his new attitude: “I’m going to do things differently than I have in the past. I’m not going to call people nasty nicknames. I’m not going to go the mean route. I’m going to force myself to be funnier or smarter,” Hilton told Ellen DeGeneres on her show yesterday.

Hilton, who is openly gay, says it is because of recent incidents such as the death of Rutgers student Tyler Clementi, who committed suicide last month after being the victim of cyberbullying.  “I don’t want to be a bully. I don’t want to be called a bully,” Hilton says in a video on his site.

The 32-year-old blogger, whose real name is Mario Lavandeira, came under fire recently for speaking out against bullying gay teens, with some accusing him of being a hypocrite.  But Perez is sincere, “From now on I really want to be part of the solution and not part of the problem,” he said to DeGeneres.

Here’s the old snarky, wild, bold Perez:

And here’s the softer, kinder, more lovable Perez:

But having built his blog empire on snark, can Hilton stick to his promise?   “Will my traffic go down?” he asks in a video on his site. “If it does, I don’t care, because I’m growing. I’m going to challenge myself to be better at what I do and I hope that you will stay with me.”

Here’s Perez telling the world about how he is going to do things differently:

HOLLYWOOD – Pictures have surfaced of Lindsay Lohan injecting herself with a syringe!

Reports out of London say that Lindsay Lohan was seen shooting heroin into her veins at a party recently in Hollywood.

The picture above reportedly shows the troubled Mean Girls star wrapping a tourniquet around her lower arm – the method addicts use to raise a vein. Her right hand hovers the needle over the skin of her left arm.

Is Lilo on heroin?

Is this another horrifying revelation in the breakdown of Lindsay, who recently posted bail again to stay out of jail for 30 days?

OMG!!!

Well, don’t trust those other tabloids.  WWN has the real story!

Lilo was NOT shooting up heroin.  She was, instead, injecting herself with a flu shot from Walgreens.  “Lindsay has been under a lot of stress lately and when you are under stress you are even more susceptible to the flu.  She didn’t want to be seen in public getting a flu shot, so she got the kit and did it at home,” said her publicist, Jamie Monroe.

Michael Lohan confirmed the fact that Lilo was injecting a flu shot into her veins.  “She was just having fun at a party, and knew it’d be misinterpreted.  Everyone will know that it’s true when she does NOT get the flu!  She hates getting sick.”

Here’s two other pictures from the same party.  It is easy to see that it’s your typical flu shot syringe, not a heroin syringe:

At the same party, a photo was taken of Lindsay “hooking up” with her good friend, Paris Hilton

“They are not sucking face in that picture,” said Jamie Monroe. “Lindsay and Paris were playing a game of ‘pass the gum’ and somebody snapped a picture.  It was all innocent. They played charades right after the photo was taken.”

So there it is.  The scoop:  flu shot, gum and charades.  Lindsay is on her way to normal!

NEW YORK, NY – Mary-Kate Olsen, tired of being a celebrity, is heading off to Oz to find the Wizard.

After years of media silence following her public battle with anorexia and the death of her friend Heath Ledger’s, Mary-Kate Olsen is talking again.  She recently gave an interview to Marie Claire and described her life as childhood star as being like “a little monkey performer.”   She said she “wouldn’t wish her upbringing on anyone.”

Mary-Kate, the billionaire, told Marie Claire that she was finally grounded in reality and had a new mission in life – to go to Oz and find the Wizard.  She cut her interview short, hopped on her bicycle and headed off to say goodbye to “Auntie Em.” She picked up her sister, Ashley, along the way and put her in the basket on her bike.

M-K, who has been spending most of her time working on her fashion line – The Row – feels that if she can just get to Oz then she can eventually find her way back home, wherever that is. M-K was last seen pedaling her bicycle toward Kansas in hopes of getting sucked into a tornado.  “Here’s hoping,” said Sal Pappalado whose two daughters made him watch The Adventures of Mary-Kate and Ashley over-and-over. “Those videos drove me nuts. I hate those twins!!…. But I really loved The Case of the Fun House.  That’s a classic.”

Stopping to eat a few peas on the way through Ohio, M-K talked about her journey to Oz. “I’m not really worried about the munchkins or the flying monkeys because I feel that I understand them both.  I am excited to meet The Good Witch of The West because she reminds me a lot of my best friend, Paris Hilton.  Paris has a crown and magic wand, too.”  Hilton helped M-K pick out her ruby shoes before she left.

Most M-K fans assume that Mary-Kate will hook-up with a lion, scarecrow and tin man and then head off to find the wizard.  But, M-K detractors think she’ll actually turn out to be the Wicked Witch of the East – and will eventually melt away.

So, is she Dorothy?

Or the Witch?

Either way, WWN will be waiting for her, when she returns from Oz.   She stole our bike!

NEW YORK, NY – Another celebrity has come out with a sex tape – but it’s not what you think!

It seems as though the current trend amongst celebrities today is to release a sex tape. While it isn’t the best of trends and sometimes celebrities didn’t plan on the tape being releases, sex tapes are running rampant. Eva Mendes is the desire of countless warm blooded males and she has decided to join the fun. Mendes is finally putting out her sex tape – S.EX. Tape that is.

FunnyorDie is at it again and has produced a new clip featuring the “Other Guys” bombshell. In it, Mendes tries her luck at infomercials to promote her own brand of duct tape.

The video begins with Mendes appearing in night vision – a reference to Paris Hilton’s infamous sex tape – before the lights are turned on and it is revealed that she’s not promoting some bedroom fun, but rather a tape in the more literal sense.

“People want a tape that Secures things EXtremely well – S.EX. tape!” Mendes says merrily over cheesy infomercial music.

Sorry guys, the days of an Eva Mendes sex tape will have to wait. Until then, the imagination is a powerful tool and Mendes leaves much to the imagination. Don’t forget to pick up your own S.EX. tape.

LOS ANGELES -  Judge Marsha Revel threw tarballs at Lindsay Lohan’s while sentencing her to jail.L.A. Superior Court Judge was so angered by Lohan’s disregard for the law that while sentencing her to 90 days behind bars she threw tarballs at her.   “I wish I had feathers to go with that tar,”  said the irate judge.

The “Mean Girls” star is headed to jail for violating her probation on a pair of 2007 DUI busts.  Judge Revel branded Lohan a serial liar as she hurled tarballs at her face and neck.  Lohan, overcome with emotion, was stunned by the Judge’s bizarre behavior (and her strong arm).

Lohan made a final teary-eyed plea for freedom as she attempted to pull the tarballs out of her blonde mane and mentioned the charity work she’s done with Moroccan children.  She wanted to prove that she’s a good person.  But several Moroccan children appeared in court and asked Judge Revel  to keep Lohan far away from Morocco.  They wanted to throw tarballs at Lohan too, but the Judge overruled their request.  “This is MY courtroom.  This is My tar.”

Judge Revel sentenced Lohan to three consecutive 30-day sentences – three times what prosecutors were seeking – to be followed by rehab and a trip to the Gulf of Mexico to clean up the beaches.   “Lilo is a nasty girl,”  said Revel.  “No more excuses.”  And with that the judge reared back and fired a final tarball at Lohan – a direct hit to Lohan’s forehead.  Lohan was knocked out.

When asked later why she was throwing tarballs in the courtroom, Judge Revel said that she had just returned from Louisiana and was horrified by the ecological calamity.  She brought back several tarballs to show her co-workers and had not intention of hurling them in court, but Lohan so angered her that she just started throwing.  “It felt good.  The Louisiana coastline is a disaster for this country and so is Lindsay Lohan.  I’ve recommended that she be tarballed every day while in jail.”

Court officials seemed unconcerned with Judge Revel’s behavior, and actually enjoyed watching Lohan get pelted.  Michael Lohan stood up to complain about Revel”s assault on his daughter, but the judge picked up another  tarball and said,  “Shut your pie hole, or you’ll get some of this, too.”

A scout for the Los Angeles Dodgers was in the courtroom and said that he thought the Judge had great accuracy in her throws and was planning on talking to her about a possible career change.  Meanwhile, Lohan was carried out of court by the L.A. Hazmat Team.

Manigator has tossed Paris aside for a new overexposed celebrity.

Although reported to be dating the recently single Paris Hilton, it appears that Manigator has set his reptilian sights on the newest rumored single lady: Lindsay Lohan.

Lindsay began seeing British DJ Samantha Ronson this past year. While the press speculated on the nature of their relationship for some time, Lohan has recently been very open about the two being in love.

But recent reports of the Lindsay and Sam seeking couples counseling has led some to believe the relationship is on its way out. And the Manigator has spotted his way in! While unaware of Ellen’s preferences when he courted her, he has only been further tempted by Lindsay’s bisexuality and believes he can turn her to his interspecial ways.

Manigator has been showing up at Sam’s DJing nights wearing his own special swamp-brewed cologne, a mixture of rotting vegetation and moonshine. Thus far his efforts to persuade Lindsay have been moot, as evidenced by her latest Facebook post:

oy vey! rumors…

just to clear this up… because i have been getting a lot of emails asking me this one question.

manigator and lindsay lohan (me) are NOT getting together

i know what was published but i did NOT make out with him (it?) last night.

he got kicked out after like five minutes cause he bit a bouncer!

so over men. and half-men.

take care
xxLL

BEVERLY HILLS, CA – After dumping recent boyfriend, Paris is going where no human woman as gone before.

Paris Hilton was in a well-publicized long-term relationship with Good Charlotte guitarist Benji Madden. After weeks of speculation, the pair announced that they had gone their separate ways.

Never one to be out of the spotlight for long, Paris has quickly dusted herself off and found a new man. Sort of…

Last night, Paris was spotted at LA eatery Mr. Chow with the one and only Manigator!  What brought her over to the reptile side? His cool demeanor? Crass sense of humor?

It couldn’t be his manners, as he was seen snapping at the sweet and sour shrimp and loudly washing it down with the Chinese beer Tsingtao.

Some gossip columnists are hinting that Paris is only dating the mutant for publicity, but eyewitnesses say she was totally charmed by his rough Southern ways. Anything seems possible these days. Heidi Montag married the Invisible Beard Man.