LOS ANGELES – Rachel Zoe, fashion stylist and Bravo reality star, is having a boy! And she’s going to feed him like a caveman!

“When I found out I was having a son, I changed my eating habits immediately. I want my tiger to be strong and, of course, lean,” Zoe revealed to reporters.

Zoe’s trainer, supplement mogul Bob “The Giraffe” Gilmore, explains, “Men need protein to build muscle even inside the womb. I told Rach, ease off the grapefruit and pumpkin seeds. Your boy needs strength. He’s a hunter-gatherer. Think bison, wild game, that sort of thing. She needs to be eating the fast-moving, low-fat percentage mammals. Much like herself!”

According to sources at the Hollywood Reporter, Zoe has been sending assistants around to grocery and specialty shops all over the L.A. area in search of meat that is either “no fat” or “the lowest possible fat count from here to San Bernardino.”

She even requested an “all-meat juice cleanse.” At press time, assistants were still trying to track down a hip, yet reliable source for meat juices. Apparently, butchers at East L.A.’s Rancho Meat Market were willing to puree “whatever she like,” but they didn’t have cute cups or matching straws.

Zoe, who will turn either 40 or 44 this year, and her husband Rodger Berman are delighted about starting a family. “This pregnancy has really changed me. I mean, I cried for the first time in eight years last month. And it wasn’t even a big deal. I had to fire this poor soul from Missouri. She just didn’t have it. She didn’t have taste. She didn’t have the look. She really had nothing. Well except for an extra twenty pounds. But anyway, I cried after I fired her. What is that all about?”

Zoe continued, “For the first time in my life, I feel ready to take a break and focus on someone other than myself. Of course, I’ll be back in time for the Spring 2012 collections in September. New York. Milan. Paris. London.”

Friends of Zoe have been speculating about the boy’s name for months. Word is that the name is very fashion-friendly. In December, an inside source leaked that “Jean-Paul Valentino” and “Versace McQueen” were the main contenders.

Bristol Palin held her first interview since giving birth Monday night with Greta Von Susteren.  The 18 year old daughter of Alaska Governor Sarah Palin talked about her experience as a mother and her mother’s policies towards education.

“Mom says that science and stuff is too hard to force kids to learn.  That the world is too complicated to have just happened by accident, and things like an eyeball show signs of a designer.  She’s right, Bio is totally hard.  But if you work at it, it does kinda make sense.”

She then went on a diatribe about carbon dating, genetic transference, and paleoanthropology.

Bristol held up her Lisa Frank notebook filled with equations and diagrams which categorically disprove the possibility of Intelligent Design.

“It’s a nice idea, but it’s just not realistic.  I mean, Lucy?  The entire pre-hominid fossil record?  Hello??”

Sarah Palin, who was sitting in the room at the time, looked increasingly more uncomfortable.  Eventually she broke the silence saying:

“Well now none of us were there so we can’t know for sure…”

“Omigod Mom, it’s called Gene Mapping, don’t even get me started!”

The two said in an awkward silence until Sarah went into a speech thanking Von Susteren and the other personalities at Fox News for being the last saviors of Democracy.  Bristol rolled her eyes and mumbled math equations under her breath.