I’m as fed up as Rosie O’Donnell at an all-you-can-eat buffet about what’s happening to the Republicans!

Every since their big get-together last week, everybody’s fighting about “the future of conservatives.” Namby pamby Beltway big shots tell us to dump Sarah Palin and Joe the Plumber, and get more classy and “intellectual” like them!

Heck, some of these “conservatives” even voted for Teleprompter Jesus himself!

Don’t listen to these stuck up sons of Benedict Arnold. Has Ross Douthat or David Brooks ever won a chili cook-off or fired a few rounds off a .45? David Frum probably can’t even change a tire without his Filipino nanny helping out.

They’re not like right wing leaders of the past. Remember the late, great Esther Schenectady, who started the American Institution Institute and led the fight against putting fluoride in our water. (“Today your teeth. Tomorrow your mind!”)

What about ex-commie spy Osprey Whitsunson (author of “From Comrade to
Christ”) or Julius Katzenjammer, who wrote my favorite economical book, “The State is Your Slavemaster” (1972)?

Dagnabbit, those wise old leaders are gone. I’m the last one of the era.
But those Seepack guys won’t let me come to their big get-together since back in ’64, when I beaned Happy Rockefeller with a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon. (That slut!)

But we have new ones leaders – and they’re the people the snooty boys hate. Heck, Rush Limbaugh isn’t Hitler –  he’s Winston Churchill! My fellow red, white and blue blooded Americans, ignore the Gang of Pansies! Keep cheering the real conservatives who appreciate and understand us normal folks in Flyswatter Country.

(Except for that Mormon who cries all the time. Boy needs to start drinking again…)