Bat Boy has been immortalized yet again in his awesome musical spectacular!

Get ready! Bat Boy is coming to Eugene, Oregon from November 4-19. He is said to be thrilled with the production!

Tickets are available here:

 http://tickets.uoregon.edu/

It’s truly a can’t miss event!

PORTLAND, OR – Festivities ramp up for the 5^th Annual National Soup Swap Day.

This Saturday is National Soup Swap Day and plans for several celebrations are already in the works. This relatively new national holiday has gone seemingly unnoticed for the past four years. However, now in its fifth year, it has begun to pick up more momentum throughout the country. The first soup swap took place in tree hugging Seattle, WA where the residents needed to find a way to beat the depressing rain and gloom.

In order to battle with the meteorological misery, Knox Gardner came up with the idea to eat soup and get drunk with friends and family. On that historic day, everyone brought a soup and immediately they realized that there was way too much soup for all to consume. In the end, they decided to swap the soups that they brought and the glorious day where everyone gathers about to drink and share soups was born.

Jim Richards of Portland, Oregon, which according to Gardener is “one of the centers of the Soup Swap craze”, intends to continue his own soup swap event that he recently started.

“Last year was a great success, it just got a little bit out of control,” said Richards. He explained that during the festivities people were so into the exchange that a food fight broke out. He also said under his breath, “They were pretty damn drunk too!” Normally a food fight would sound like good fun but when it involves scalding hot soup and a bunch of drunks, it can quickly become tragic. “75% of last years attendees were sent to the ER for third degree burns,” explained Richards, “the other 25% were unharmed because they were only hit with Gazpacho.”

This year Richards has changed his format. Instead of bringing piping hot soups, guests will bring six frozen quarts of their favorite creations to swap with one another. He is also imposing a three drink limit to insure that things do not get out of hand again. “The last thing that we need is for someone to get drunk and heave a frozen quart of soup at someone’s head,” said Richards.

Richards also sent out an invitation to the Shaanxi Provincial Institute of Archaeology in China. “We’re really hoping that they will bring some of that 2,400 year old soup that we’ve been hearing about. We’ve all been dying to try some,” exclaimed Richards.

PORTLAND, OR – After a 1,900% tax hike was proposed to help the state budget, Oregon residents have protested by dumping beer into the Portland harbor.

The state of Oregon is currently facing  a budget deficit, much like many states during the recession. The lawmakers proposing the hefty tax hike state the extra money will go towards prevention, treatment and recovery programs for those addicted to alcohol and other substances.

But consumers and local beer brewers are rallying against the tax hike, both to save microbrewers and to keep pint prices down. David Mulligan, owner of Portland Porthouse, said, “All of that hike is going to go right to the consumer. We’re a small, family brewery, we can’t cut corners here. I don’t think those lawmakers have a clue what kind of riot they’ll have on their hands if a pint goes up to $6.”

Despite their peaceful, laid-back reputation, some residents have pre-emptively shown their anger by sneaking onto boats in the harbor and throwing cases of beer into the water. Jim Snyder, a local investment banker, agreed to speak to Weekly World News about the protest. “We are just following the old American tradition of opposing unfair taxation!”

When asked if they were using beer stolen from the ship ala the Boston Tea Party, Snyder looked confused and responded, “Well, uh, no, we bought it at a local grocery store  and Bob’s wife over there brought it in her mini-van.” A middle-aged woman in a lawn-chair waved happily from the dock.

The five men onboard explained that they will continue dumping the beer in the harbor until the tax hike is struck down, or the police politely ask them to leave.

BLUE MOUNTAINS, OR – After a spate of high-profile Twitter accounts were hacked, the world’s most famous cryptid became the next victim.

Weekly World News was able to screen-capture the fake update before it was deleted, which announced, “nessie is gay”.

A representative from Cryptids & Humanoids Alliance Against Defamation issued a statement on Bigfoot’s behalf this morning: “Bigfoot is embarrassed and infuriated at this identity theft. He wants to formally apologize to the Loch Ness Monster for any emotional distress this has caused, and reiterate that he has no opinion on the Monster’s sexuality.

“Bigfoot’s twitter followers know he would never write such a sophomoric attempt at humor. He asks that twitter find and prosecute this hacker to the fullest extent of the law.”

For Bigfoot’s usual twitter habits, read his last five updates:

ugh, avoiding stalkerazzi, never stop taking photos of me  9:47PM Jan 3rd, 2008 from web

ditched skunk ape cousin’s xmas dinner, total hillbilly!  7:03PM Dec 25th, 2008 from web

is it time for gossip girl yet?  5:38PM Dec 22nd, 2008 from web

burned myself trying to make a fire   10:02PM Dec 19th, 2008 from web

thinking about getting a cat, or a badger  11:17AM Dec 16th, 2008 from web