My rabbit ears are bent outta shape! Is Obama the President of the United States or the new American Idol? Cuz he spends more time going on television that he does running the country!

The Communist-in-Chief needs to spend less time in the Green Room and more time at the White House! I keep expecting him to show up next singing Barry Manilow songs at Mall of America.

And when he goes on TV, he’s terrible. I hear the Communist in Chief went on Johnny Carson and made fun of retarded kids going bowling or something. Hell, there’s a slow young fella with the two hearing aids who sweeps up at our Wal-Mart, and he’d be a better President at this point. After all, “being President” now seems to mean nothing but “having trouble talking and reading,” “signing pieces of paper in a funny way” and “giggling all the time.”

It’s true! The Teleprompter Kid went on 60 Minutes and giggled so much even the pinko interviewer guy asked him why he kept laughing at all his questions! So the Communist-in-Chief says back, “You have to have some gallows humor.”

Now just picture if “W” said the word “gallows” on TV. The anti-lynching lynch mob would’ve called Bush a Klansman (which they did all the time anyway).

I get the feeling even the crazy dummies who voted for the Teleprompter Kid are starting to feel stupid about it. Not because of anything he’s doing – hell, liberals love raising taxes and wasting other people’s money – but because Obama’s not such a smooth operator after all.

American pinkos voted for the Fresh Prince of Bel Air and got Urkel instead!

UPDATE: Barack Obama’s half-bat half-brother, Obatma, is planning to meet with the Special Olympics committee on Monday to make peace over Obama’s bad joke.

Last night on The Tonight Show, President Obama discussed his poor bowling skills. In a passing comment, Obama said, “It was like Special Olympics or something.” Realizing his error, President Obama called Special Olympics Chairman Tim Shriver immediately following the taping to apologize.

However, Obama’s half-brother Obatma will be meeting with the committee on Monday to help smooth things over. Obatma recently revealed he used to volunteer in the African chapter, feasting on the surrounding mosquitoes so the athletes could compete in peace.

Will Obatma’s diplomatic past make things right?

January 15, 2009
WASHINGTON, DC – In a stunning response to the passing of Ricardo Montalban, Barack Obama has announced last-minute changes to his upcoming inauguration.

Obama revealed today that he would immediately scrap all Abraham Lincoln references at his inauguration and instead would deliver a new theme of “Fantasy Inauguration”. In adhering to this theme, Obama will be clad for all inaugural festivities in the white-tie popularized by Montalban in his role as Mr. Roarke on the long-running television series. Obama also made the shocking announcement that his half-man half-bat half-brother Obatma would attend the inauguration and serve as his Tattoo.

Obama’s official announcement paid tribute to Montalban and his legacy. The announcement also took many by surprise in Washington.

Obama explained, “Abraham Lincoln was a great man, but Ricardo Montalban and the work he did on Fantasy Island holds far greater personal meaning to me. The opening scenes of the show were even filmed in my childhood state of Hawaii.”

He continued,  “America is a place, like Fantasy Island, where your dreams can come true. Sure, there is a price for making those dreams happen. That price is what we call ‘taxes’. My job as President, much like Mr. Roarke’s job on ‘Fantasy Island’, is making sure you get your money’s worth in making your dreams happen. Think of me as the new Mr. Roarke. The man who is going to make your dreams come true. This is truly America’s Fantasy Inauguration”.

Asked whether there would be a role for Ken Berry in the inauguration, Obama refused to speculate.

Obatma, Obama’s half-brother, was unavailable for comment.