WASHINGTON D.C. – From the comfort of the Oval Office, President Obama shared his thoughts on the BP oil spill!

WASHINGTON, DC – President Obama delivered his State of the Union address last night. To make sure his message went across, he used mind control techniques.

WASHINGTON, DC – President Obama is planning to hypnotize children across the country with his webcast!

CAIRO – Obama’s speech in Cairo was a raging success. King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia presented him with a special Keyboard Cat video as congratulations.

UPDATE – Several priests from around the country are voicing their skepticism at Obama converting to Catholicism for 24 hours.

NOTRE DAME, IN -Notre Dame is under fire for inviting Barack Obama to give their commencement speech this year.

UPDATE: Bobby Jindal’s talks with Satan appear to be working, as he was picked to deliver the official GOP response to President Obama’s State of the Union.