I figured Mrs. Anger was kidding me when she woke me up screaming about the Teleprompter Kid winning a prize.

“For what?” I mumbled. “World’s Biggest Phoney”? “Worst Since Carter?”

Then she told me the Communist-in-Chief won that Nobel Peace Prize.

Ladies and gentlemen of these great United States: your pal Ed Anger is getting too old for this.

It’s a good thing I’ve got backup oxygen tanks in case of nuclear war, contrail poisoning or the Rapture – I may have to break one out before lunch.

The Nobel Peace Prize. I thought you got that if you were that ET-looking diaper guy who sat around smiling all day, or got the stupid Irishmen to stop killing the stupider Irishmen for five minutes.

Heck, in Obama’s hometown, kids are smashing each other’s heads in with railroad ties on Main Street. Our soldiers are getting blown up by A-rabs, and every time I see Nancy Puglosi’s face on the TV I wanna kill somebody.

None of that seems too damn peaceful to me.

Then I remembered they gave it to Al Gore and Jimmy Carter. I don’t know when it happened – probably the day they gave it to Fishface Towelhead of the A-rabs – but that fancy prize turned into a joke a long time ago.

What Obama really needs is the Please Prize: “Please stop hating us, A-rabs! Please like us, pre-vert Euros!”

Oh well, at least they didn’t give him the Book Prize. Cuz then he’d have to share it with his old hippie bomber friend who really wrote his books!

Then again, since that Nobel guy got rich inventing dynamite, that would’ve made more sense!