OSLO, NORWAY – Ten of thousands of dead fish have washed ashore in Norway.   The reason:  aliens.

There were thousands and thousands of dead herring everywhere on the coast Norway for two days – and then they mysteriously disappeared.

The dead fish first appeared on New Year’s Eve, leading to speculation that predators might have driven a huge school ashore or the fish could have been washed onto the beach by a powerful storm that hit Norway on Christmas Day.

WWN once again turned experts at the U.N. Panel on Extraterrestrials.  Dr. Susan Begley spoke to WWN last night.

“This is a similar event that happened last New Year, but it seems have escalated.  Last New Year, dead blackbirds dropped from the sky in Arkansas and dead herring came ashore in Norway, the pattern was repeated this year – only the numbers are far greater.”

Dr. Begley said that the U.N. has concluded that the herring (and the blackbirds) were killed by aliens from Planet Gootan.  “There are two alien species that have been inhabiting the earth in the last fourteen months.  The Zeebans are peaceful and docile beings here to help humans, and the Gootans are here to attack us.  The dead herring appear to be the work of the Gootans – they are sending another warning to citizens of earth.”

Is the U.N. planning on taking an action against the Gootans?

“We have be planning an international strategy to deal with all extraterrestrials living peacefully on our planet and have come up with a strong military solution to handle any attack.  The planning of the defense of earth has brought world leaders together for the first time.”

Back in Norway,  locals were wondering how to clean up the estimated 60 tons of dead fish on the beach in Kvaenes, near Tromsoe, north of the Arctic Circle, before it decayed. But before they could start, the fish disappeared.

What happened to them?

“The Gootans are playing with us, that’s all I can say,” said Dr. Begley.

Where will they attack next?

“We have a good idea of their next target, and we are ready.”

Let’s hope so…

OSLO – A mysterious blue spiral light appeared over Norway, leading to much speculation.

The large blue spiral appeared in Norway’s skies early this morning. What started off as a blue light soaring up from behind a mountain stopped mid-air!

It quickly morphed into a giant spiral that hung in the sky for about ten to twelve minutes, depending on the eyewitnesses’ account. It then disappeared completely!

The Norwegian Meteorological Institute has been inundated with calls, but astronomers have no idea what it was. Any connection with the season’s aurora has been quickly dismissed.

Some believe it may have been Russia testing missiles over the ocean, however the government has already denied this. Was it something more mysterious, like a UFO?

OSLO – It has just been confirmed that the 47th known prime number was found!

On April 12th, Odd Magnar Strindmo of Melhus, Norway, found the the 47th known Mersenne prime number: 2^42,643,801-1.  It is a 12,837,064 digit number, but surprisingly, is not the largest! It is secondlargest, 141,125 digits smaller than the Mersenne prime found last August by a UCLA Mathematics Department’s computer.

Strindmo has been working with the Great Internet Mersenne Prime Search, also known as GIMPS, since 1996. GIMPS is a worldwide collective of amateur and professional mathematicians working together to find new prime numbers. This is the 13th number that GIMPS has found in its 13 year history.

Strindmo tested over 1400 candidates before finding the newest number. It reportedly took 29 days of constant calculating on a 3.0 GHz Intel Core2 processor!

Prime numbers have long been a mystery to mathematicians, as no pattern or formula has been discovered (yet) to easily find them. Originally, researchers used trial-and-error to find them, but as the numbers became infinitely longer, modern mathematicians have resorted to using computer programs to do the legwork.

Interested in learning how you can help find the next number? Go to GIMPS’ website and sign up!

OSLO – A massive, 40-ton whale roared toward the freedom of the open sea, and destroyed a half-mile bridge that stood in its way.

“It rammed one of the concrete pillars supporting the bridge with all the force of a speeding torpedo,” said Rolf Pedersen, a shocked eyewitness. “The span literally crumbled and toppled into the water.”

Miraculously, no cars or other vehicles were traveling on the 30-year-old bridge which connects the islands of Svolvaer and Hinnoya on the north coast of Norway.

Pedersen and his son, Bjorn, were fishing shortly before dawn in an inlet that opens into the Norwegian Sea when they saw the whale swimming toward them. “It looked like a sperm whale, had to be at least 80 feet long,” Bjorn said. “That gigantic thing was swimming down the channel when it seemed to veer sharply to the right and deliberately plow into the concrete bridge support.”

“A 30-foot section of the bridge just shattered and fell into the channel like it was made of matchsticks. It was an extraordinary sight. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

Marine biologist Olav Karlsen told reporters he believes the sperm whale was the same one that nearly beached itself a day earlier near Svolvaer. “It is only conjecture, but perhaps the whale thought it was trapped in the channel and it made him frantic and furious as it headed toward the sea. It’s amazing that the creature could destroy a bridge and keep on going!”

SVALBARD, NORWAY – Cindy McCain will return to her ice kingdom following the November elections should her husband not be victorious.

Longstanding rumors allege Mrs. McCain has difficulties remaining for long periods of time in the hot temperatures of Arizona and Washington DC’s summer seasons.

Mrs. McCain, heiress to an American beer fortune, is also the Queen of Svalbard, the northernmost province of Norway.  Although the archipelago is technically part of Norway, the Norwegian government leaves all authority over the province to Mrs. McCain.

“We have treaties and we have an armistice line.  We don’t cross and thank heavens those creatures don’t cross either,” Morten Wetland, Norway’s Permanent Representative to the United Nations said through a translator.

The creatures that Wetland refers to, in addition to Mrs. McCain herself, include The United Tribes of the Three Polar Bear Legions as well as the Worg Enclave and the Sasquatch Nation.

While under McCain’s despotic rule, peace has been achieved among the bears, wolves and sasquatches.  In Wetland’s own words, “Thank the heavens the Ice Witch does not turn her icy glare south. “

Should Senator McCain lose his bid for the presidency, it is feared that Mrs. McCain will mobilize her minions from the ice kingdom to wage a war of revenge against America and her allies.

Stay tuned for updates as they become available.