LOS ANGELES – Bill Clinton returns to the US with freed North Korean prisoners. Weekly World News has acquired a transcript of his exchange with Kim Jong Il.

I’m madder than Paula Jones with a leaky implant!

WASHINGTON, DC – Senator John McCain wants the US to take a more aggressive stance with North Korea, preferably using a ship that bears his name.

UPDATE: It has leaked that North Korea may fire a missile at Hawaii in early July. Is this the beginning of their invasion?

I’m madder than Ted Kennedy at a cash bar! Today’s May 1, the big commie holiday.

NEW YORK, NY – The UN Security Council held an emergency meeting after North Korea fired a large rocket.

NEW YORK, NY – No doubt that most in America have heard of the NCAA tournament, if not gotten involved in an office pool, online contest, or friendly wager.

NEW YORK, NY – Aviation hero Chelsey Sullenberger is getting the network talk show treatment. In recognition of successfully landing US Air flight 1549 in the Hudson River last January, Sullenberger is being given his own morning talk show on Fox.

MISSOULA, MT – Kim Jong Il was seen performing in the most unlikeliest of places.

ATHENS, GA – Kim Jong Il has been sighted at a record store in Athens, Georgia.

Over the weekend North Korea’s communist dictator was seen perusing used records at Wuxtry, the same store where the band R.E.M. was formed.