NEW YORK – Aliens have visited space shuttle Enterprise, and left evidence behind to prove it.

As NASA officials stationed at JFK were preparing the prototype shuttle for its final home at Manhattan’s Intrepid Sea, Air and Space Museum, they discovered what they are calling “foreign material” on board. Engineers and NASA officials were unwilling to go record, but sources confirm that the material is of an extraterrestrial nature.

A security guard at the JFK hangar where Enterprise is being stored explained the scene as the NASA crew made its discovery. “They had on HAZMAT suits and were bringing out all these high-tech Ziploc bags with stuff in them. I saw some moss-looking stuff come out, and some metal tool-looking pieces. They were all complaining about the smell. Apparently, whatever was in there left a mess. The scientist was like, maybe they were trying to catch a ride home or something. But you know, they picked the wrong shuttle.”

Samples have been shipped to the Kennedy Space Center in Florida and are currently undergoing analysis by staff cosmochemists.

Paul Ebrim, director of Intrepid exhibits, expects the shuttle’s arrival at the museum to be delayed by at least one month due to the discovery.

Enterprise never ventured to space, serving only as the NASA prototype.

The Fukang Meteorite is  considered the greatest on earth.The meteorite When it slammed into the surface of Earth, there was little sign of the beauty that lay inside.

But cutting the Fukang meteorite open yielded a breathtaking sight.

Within the rock, translucent golden crystals of a mineral called olivine gleamed among a silvery honeycomb of nickel-iron.

The rare meteorite weighed about the same as a hatchback when it was discovered in 2000, in the Gobi Desert in China’s Xinjiang Province.

It has since been divided into slices which give the effect of stained glass when the sun shines through them.

An anonymous collector holds the largest portion, which weighs 925lb. in 2008, this piece was expected to fetch $2million  at auction at Bonham’s in New York – but it remained unsold.

It is so valuable that even tiny chunks sell in the region of $40-60 per gram.

Arizona’s Southwest Meteorite Laboratory, which holds about 70lb of the rock, says the remarkable find will turn out to be ‘one of the greatest meteorite discoveries of the 21st century’.

It says the Fukang specimen outshines all other known examples of the pallasite class, which makes up just one per cent of all meteorites. However, it is not the biggest – in 2005 space rock hunter Steve Arnold dug up a 1,400lb sample in Kansas.

The Arizona lab’s experts say pallasites, whose make-up of half nickel-iron, half olivine gives them their mosaic-like appearance, are ‘thought to be relics of forming planets’.

They are believed to originate from deep inside intact meteors created during the formation of the solar system about 4.5 billion years ago and very few specimens are thought to have survived their descent through Earth’s atmosphere.

February 2005 saw the Chinese space rock transported all the way to the Tucson Gem and Mineral Show, in Tucson, Arizona.

The U.S. lab claims their polished slice of the original meteorite is the world’s biggest pallasite cross section, measuring 36in by 19in.

Bat Boy has been seen on the stand-up comedy circuit.

NEW YORK — While many thought Bat Boy had gone into seclusion in recent weeks to shed his current set of wings, several reports pin him in unlikely spots: comedy clubs throughout New York City. According to eyewitness accounts, the creature is trying his hand at stand-up.

Whether it’s Comedy Cellar or Carolines, Gotham Comedy Club or Laugh Lounge, Bat Boy has been doing guest spots at all of the city’s premiere stand-up locations. However, some find his stage show to be quite unsettling.

“He just kind of stands there and shrieks,” said Bart Hall, a regular club-goer. “I was expecting to hear about his exploits and daring escapes, his opinions on women and hot-button social issues. Seeing him just makes you feel … weird.”

Others feel that the creature has a novel approach to the art form.  One attendee to a Bat Boy spot was more than entertained.

“Seeing Bat Boy do comedy changed me,” said Ken Dawson, 44, of White Plains. “He’s taking stand-up and turning it on its head in a really profound way. I thought it was hilarious. It was like a big middle finger to all that stereotypical, airplane joke stuff. Bat Boy could change the world with his comedy.”

Though the audience may be split on their opinions, promoters and club owners seem to support Bat Boy’s foray into stand-up. Karry Batz, Bat Boy’s self-proclaimed manager, maintains that the creature is just starting out.

“He’s just dipping his clawed little toes into comedy,” Batz said.  “We’re taking it slow.  That said, Bat Boy is looking forward to his many spots around town this weekend, an appearance on Opie and Anthony on Monday and a possible summer tour.”

As New York was celebrating after Knicks player Jeremy Lin sunk a game-winning 3-pointer against the Toronto Raptors Tuesday night,  a man with “Linsanity” was committing a robbery in Queens.

“Linsanity,” the popular phrase coined amid Lin’s highly praised performance during the team’s 6-game winning streak, is certainly a real thing, according to 36-year-old Bryan Hazer. Hazer is accused of walking into the popular restaurant Larry’s and demanding cash at gunpoint. According to Hazer’s lawyers, he was unaware of what he was doing, as Lin’s fateful shot with less than a second to go made Hazer “snap.”

“After screaming for the cash, he kept on mumbling things about the game to himself,” said one bystander, who asked not to be named. “He kept on saying stuff like ‘27 points’ and ‘11 assists … a career high.’ It was weird.”

While Linsanity has not been recognized by medical professionals as anything but a harmless phrase, Hazer’s lawyers plan to present a strong case for its dangers and potential impact on sports fans. A
statement by the lawyers was released soon after Hazer’s arrest.

“It was tied at 87,” the statement said. “No one thought he would just go for the three. It was Linsane, and we believe our client is not responsible for his actions due to these circumstances. Mr. Hazer is
an upstanding young man with a bright future, and it would be a shame for something out of his control to ruin his life.”

Hazer, a dock worker and lifelong Knicks fan, has shown no previous inclination toward crime, according to friends. Best friend and confidant Greg Curtis stands by Hazer.

“Look, this isn’t [Bryan’s] fault,” Curtis said. “This whole thing is affecting all of us. Just earlier, I was feeling some major Lindigestion. It’s terrifying.”

NEW YORK, NY – Bat Boy rang in the New Year the only way he knows how: with good-natured mischief.

Continuing with tradition, Times Square hosted the annual New Year’s Eve ball drop, in which a time ball is lowered down a pole during the last minute of the year.

This year, the redesign of the ball doubled it’s size, making more than enough room for our favorite little mutant to take a ride!

Security noticed a dark figure clinging to the back of the ball around 11:51PM. They quietly attempted to get him down by using chocolate covered mosquitoes as bait, but Bat Boy was on a mission.

When the clock hit 11:59PM, the ball began it’s slow descent and Bat Boy scrambled onto the top. He raised his arms in triumph and sent high-pitched squeaks ringing across Times Square.

The cameras attempted to film only the lower-half of the ball to keep his victory pose out of the shot.

As the ball stopped and 2012 began, amid the chaos, confusion and confetti erupting through Times Square, Bat Boy was able to slip away, avoiding police apprehension.

The NYPD has not yet released a statement on whether they will issue a warrant for his arrest.

LAS  VEGAS – Heidi Klum has chosen her Halloween costume – she’s going as Bat Boy!

Heidi Klum has long been a fan of Bat Boy and was excited to announce that her Halloween costume for parties she is hosting in New York and Las Vegas will be – Bat Boy!

Alex Rees broke the story that the supermodel, and star of Project Runway, thought that Bat Boy represented “style”, “innovation” and “class.” Klum told WWN that she feels Bat Boy might represent the future of fashion.

It even got a mention in New York magazine.

Bat Boy has long been a fan of Heidi Klum:

This is one of Bat Boy’s favorite pictures of Heidi:

Sources close to Bat Boy say that he has not decided whether he will attend the party in Las Vegas.  ”He’s waiting for Heidi to contact him directly and discuss how best to handle the Halloween events,” said the source.

Heidi did get a little confused and started “monkeying around” as Bat Boy – as reported by zap2it.com

Heidi did her best to look like Bat Boy.  Fans of Project Runway have been asked to weigh in on how successful Heidi was in designing her Bat Boy costume.  Did she succeed?

The most popular costume this Halloween is – Casey Anthony. BUT with Heidi Klum throwing her support behind Bat Boy, the mutant may soon become the most popular costume for 2011.   It would not be the first year he has been in the #1 slot for Halloween costumes.

Bat Boy was the number one Halloween costume in 1996, 1998, 2002-04, 2007 and 2009.

Are you going to follow Heidi’s lead?

A YouTube video compiles reports of the many UFO sightings in recent months.

This video summarizes reports of UFO and alien sightings from the last two years.

This is just a sampling of the numerous reports and sightings in recent times.  Members of the UN Panel on Extraterrestrials say that these are all part of the ongoing alien invasion – that began in 2009 on a small-scale.  In October 2010, the full invasion began – and will reach its peak in 2012, 2013 and 2014.  By 2015, extraterrestrial experts predict that aliens will be controlling Earth.

Professor John Malley, the lead expert at the SETI Institute (Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence), has been speaking out about the alien invasion for the last two years.  “Humans MUST start preparing to live under the leadership of alien lifeforms.  There is nothing humans can do – we are being invaded.”

Malley says that humans must make the right decision and must NOT try to attack the aliens.  “If we do so, it will be the end of the human race.”

SO, here’s some of the evidence.  Watch:

LOS ANGELES  - Drug users across Los Angeles have encountered some bad  cocaine that is eating away their flesh.

In a case study in the Journal of the American Academy of Dermatology, Craft describes over seventy cocaine users recently plagued by the dark purple patches of dying flesh. And while they happened to hail from the country’s coastlines – especially in Los Angeles –  the problem is national.

As if cocaine wasn’t dangerous enough.  Check it out:

 The DEA recently reported that 82 percent of the cocaine it seizes is cut with the veterinary drug.  While cheaper cocaine can be close to 90 percent filler, it’s often notably filled with harmless baking soda. Exactly why the veterinary drug has begun to be popular remains a subject of debate.

But drug cartels in South America increasingly prefer to use levamisole, a veterinary antibiotic normally used to deworm cattle, sheep, and pigs. It’s not clear why dealers don’t just use baking soda all the time, although studies in rats suggest that levamisole might tingle brain receptors in the same way cocaine does. If that’s the case, adding it to the supply might be a way to enhance the effects of cocaine on the cheap.

Apparently not everyone has the same reaction to the drug and  the effects do disappear from some of the affected once the drug leaves the body, but bad scars will remain with the user forever.

NEW YORK – Embattled Congressman Anthony Weiner has signed a deal to be the new spokesman for Viagra.

Anthony Weiner is finally giving in – having realized his days as a Congressman are coming to a close and that he will never be Mayor of New York City.  All because of a the “junk shot seen round the world.”

After a long night of briefings with his staff, Weiner has decided to capitalize on his crotch close-up – “turn it into a real money shot.”

“I can say with certitude that this has had a negative effect on my family and my job, the one New Yorkers thought they sent me here to do.  I must look to the future.  And that future is… Viagra.”

Weiner was quick to point out that he has never used Viagra in the past.  “I do not have ED and I have been told I am  a  – stud-monster.  Ask my 21-year-old friends.  They haven’t seen one picture of me in which I wasn’t erect.”

Weiner will be no longer be talking about the National Debt, Jobs or the War in Afghanistan.  He will be talking about “when the moment is right” for Viagra.

He turned down Cialis  and Levitra because – “who needs an erection to last more than four hours?” – even though his photo erection has lasted over a week now.

Weiner said that Viagra isn’t just for Erectile Dysfunction.  “Viagra also helps blood flow in the body, which includes blood flow in the brain.  I think I could use a little help in that department.”

“I take Viagra.  Not for my penis, but for my brain.”

Maybe they are one in the same…

WWN’s Elsa Akesson had previously reported on Brett Favre’s deal with Viagra and Cialis.

NEW JERSEY – Horny young men with no ambition fear for their survival with news of the extinction of the eastern cougar.

What was once a thriving species of rich older women preying on strapping young men, known as cubbies or cubs, is now no more. Wealthy divorced and perpetually single women ranging in ages from 35 to 55, known as cougars, were once in abundant supply in major U.S. cities along the eastern seaboard. However, results from the 2010 Census have revealed that the eastern cougar is now completely extinct.

New Jersey was once the main breeding ground of the species. However, due to the ongoing financial crisis, many women that were once considered to be cougars have disappeared. With their 401k accounts completely bottomed out and several without work, most were unable to keep up with their Botox and plastic surgery allowing them to maintain their “youthful” appearance. This lack of necessary maintenance and financial liquidity has caused many of them to fall out of the cougar category being downgraded to middle-aged woman.

The last known cougar was last spotted in Short Hills, NJ. But when her net worth fell went into the red, rendering her unable to fund future hunts and surgeries, a cougar she was no more.

The closest kin to cougars that can be found in the east are located in sanctuaries in southern Florida, also known as nursing homes.  However, field researchers say that due to their age, these women are not actually cougars but better classified as jaguars. And although most jaguars are found in sanctuaries, occasionally a jaguar is spotted living in the wild, often assisted by a Haitian caretaker.

As a result of the extinction, a mass exodus of cougar hunters or safarists, young men that seek cougars, has occurred in major eastern cities that were once heavily populated by cougars. Along with New Jersey, New York and Atlanta have seen a drop in the population of young, cougar seeking men. Most of these men have headed for the west coast to seek the last remaining North American cougars. All of these men have avoided south Florida stating that the jaguar population is “just too weird” for them.

“I have my standards you know,” said Chip an accomplished cougar hunter who claims to have captured over 37 cougars in just one months time, “past 50 is just too old for me. It doesn’t matter how much money she has.”

Who knows what will become of the cougar population throughout the rest of the nation. But if things do not come under control fast and soon, ABC’s smash hit Cougar Town may be better suited for the National Geographic Channel before you know it.