NEW YORK, NY – Oliver Stone premiered his new film about Hugo Chavez this weekend, with Chavez as his date.

NEW YORK, NY – Fox News stated yesterday that America is not pure since people marry “other species and ethnics.” Mutants around the country are now up in arms.

NEW YORK, NY – Bernard Madoff was sentenced yesterday for committing the biggest ponzi scheme in history. The courts are insuring he serves as much time as possible.

NEW YORK, NY – A Brooklyn man has been arrested for dressing up as his dead mother to scam the government!

NEW YORK, NY – Ashrita Furman, a New York City resident, has become the first person to simultaneously hold 100 titles in the Guinness Book of World Records!

NEW YORK – Wall Street executive Robert Rubin has successfully sued himself for $8 million.

NEW YORK, NY – Researchers have been using satellite-aided georgaphical analysis to pinpoint Osama bin Laden’s location, but he may be closer than they think.

NEW YORK, NY – NBC’s Today Show regretted re-booking right wing pundit, Ann Coulter, after the controversial writer went into overload on live television.

NEW YORK, NY – Bat Boy rang in the New Year the only way he knows how: with good-natured mischief.

NEW YORK, NY – Holiday shoppers at Macy’s Department Store were surprised with a rare treat this week when PhD Ape brought his son and niece to meet Santa for the first time.