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DEATH RAY AT CONSUMER ELECTRONICS SHOW
LAS VEGAS, NV – The Death Ray app has made its premiere at the popular Consumer Electronics Show amidst drama and fear.
OBAMA DENIED AREA 51
LAS VEGAS, NV – President-Elect Obama’s streak of intergalactic bad luck continues this week as the Installation Commander of Area 51 refused to hand over the keys.
OPRAH TRIES TO PURCHASE AREA 51
GROOM LAKE, NV – Mega-celeb Oprah Winfrey has been in discussions with top government officials in an attempt to purchase Area 51.
OJ SIMPSON: COLLEGE PROFESSOR
CHICAGO, IL – The University of Illinois at Chicago announced this morning that they have offered OJ Simpson an adjunct professorship in its prestigious Drama department.
