MATTHEWS, N.C. —  Genetically-mutated spiders have made their way onto the streets of this town!

After initial reports that a “cobweb-like” substance was found on nuclear waste near the Charlotte National Laboratory, sources have now confirmed that geneticially-mutated spiders have made their way into the streets of the nearby town of Matthews. The spiders, the assumed culprits for the strange substance found on the site, can be easily identified from their pale-brown body and length of about 3 feet.

In addition, some of the spiders are also said to have red, “glowing” fangs, according to reports.

As far as the origin of the dangerous creatures, many have cited the national laboratory as the “obvious” source of the spiders. Labworkers have been analyzing the web material found on the site for the last two weeks, and the prospect of the substance being born from biological means has created a buzz in the scientific community.  A Charlotte scientist, who has asked not to be named, neither confirmed nor denied where the mutant spiders originated.

“Look, let’s not point fingers,” the scientist said. “The important thing is just for everyone to calm down and alert your local authorities if you come across the animals. We don’t believe the spiders actually show aggression toward humans, but as a precaution, you should keep smaller domesticated animals behind locked doors.”

Patrols for the creatures will continue over the course of the evening.

Sources have also confirmed that teenage boys should not let the spiders bite them in an attempt to acquire super-powers, as this act will most likely prove to be hazardous. However, many local teenagers have ignored this advice, with many remarking to authorities that “you’re not the boss of me.”

SAN DIEGO – The Chulapa Monster was discovered on Mission Beach in San Diego.

The beast is about two feet in length.  It has and the body shape of a pig—kind of a fat stomach, middle area and the canines are ridiculously large – 8-10 inches.

Some thought at it first was some kind of Chupacabra that swims in water.

Its hind legs are longer than its front pair.  It appears to be mostly hairless and it scares young children.

The San Diego Chulapa Monster has been talked about by locals for the last few decades, though no one has ever really seen it – until now.  It was named the “Chulapa Monster” in jest by a local fisherman, but the monster is taken very seriously by local authorities.

“We’ve had over 30 deaths blamed on the Chulapa Monster over the years,” said Sgt. Monica Williams of the San Diego Police Department.

The Chulapa Monster corpse smelled like dead rotting flesh and flies filled its mouth as observers tried to get close to it.

Original story by Rocco Castoro at vice.com
Check out their site!

Photos by Josh Menard—a 19-year-old snowboard from Lake Tahoe.

Bat Boy tried living the high life – but he hated it.  He’s selling his Vacation Cave.  You want it?

Sitting on 37 acres just outside of Morgantown, West Virginia a mining town-turned-Baby Boomer retirement, the Bat Boy Cave House is carved into an outcropping of granite boulder, extending more than 2,000-square feet into a desert grotto.

“Bat Boy is down-to-earth.  He doesn’t believe in hype and he just didn’t see the need to have a second cave.  He felt it was too  much,” said Dr. Barry Leed, who has been following Bat Boy since he was first discovered years ago.

Bat Boy’s strange and unusual dwelling is up for grabs and could be yours for $1.5 million. It occupies 2,890-square feet of living space and comes with a 890-square foot guest house, a subterranean game room underneath the guest house, a library building, a stand-alone workshop space, a separate home office, and a carport.

The main house features rough walls, rock and cement ceilings, and potable wall water seep that is collected from a natural spring. There’s a glass-walled batroom, a commercial-grade kitchen with stained glass cabinets and mosaic tiling, an-eight mutant dining room, a sunken living room, two full bathrooms, a sleep loft with walk-in closet tucked below underneath the loft stairs, and a back room that is currently used as an exercise and yoga room.

There’s also a wild party room, that Bat Boy took advantage of often.  Here he is with one of his many lady friends:

“It’s technically a bat made cave that was actually blasted out of the rock existing there,” explains Jean Noreen, a Realtor with Bisbee Realty and the listing agent for the Bat Boy Cave House. ”But it has all of the good qualities of a cave for living like it stays the same temperature all year round.” Maintaining a so-called ‘rock temperature,’ the house never slides below 66 degrees Fahrenheit or above 72 degrees.

Rather, the home’s natural pools are a short hike away, up the side of a nearby mountain and fed by a freshwater creek for six to eight months out of the year. The higher up the mountain you climb the more pools you have to choose from. The owners also installed a carefully camouflaged hot tub.

The other buildings on the premises peddle some secretive amenities, too. Lying below the two-story guest house is a game room with a separate entrance. The subterranean space is constructed of cement blocks and fluorescent lighting. The nearby library building, also constructed of cement blocks, doubles as a safe house, with a back room accessible through a roll-down metal security door hidden behind a sliding glass door. The back room is equipped with a Murphy bed, an air conditioner, an antique vault and a climate-controlled gun safe.

Some buyers are hesitant to own a cave that Bat Boy lived in but local realtors said that “it’s a celebrity property, demand is high.”

Go buy yourself Bat Boy’s cave!

NEW JERSEY -  A rare mutation happened to Fred Alan on the way to his Thanksgiving feast.  His head turned into a Tuna!

Last week, Fred Allan, an angler who went missing three miles off the coast of New Jersey, was spotted in Jersey City on his way to a Thanksgiving feast.

Fred sat through his Thanksgiving meal with his family without them noticing that his head was had turned into a tuna. But his family has never paid much attention to Fred.   He left with his turkey leftovers.

It wasn’t until he was walking home when a little boy, Chucky Thompson, saw Fred on the street and screamed, “Your head is a tuna fish!”  Fred quickly put his hands to his head and realized that Chucky was right.  Not only was he shocked to learn he had a tuna head, but also Fred realized that his hands were missing as well.  See:

Fred went to see Dr. Chris Rigaux, a marine biologist who specializes in mutations,  sea water fish and heads.  Dr. Rigaux said that this has happened several times before in Tuna History.  “In 1876 a woman, Janice Ross, went fishing with her son off the coast of Virginia.  They caught some bluefin tuna on their own and were happy for their good fortune.  But on the way back, her son, Robert, realized that his mother’s head had turned into a tuna.

“Thinking that his mother was being attacked by an angry tuna, Robert tried to knock the tuna off his mother’s head with a broken oar.  He killed the tuna, but also bashed in his mother’s skull at the same time.  It was a sad day off Virginia Beach.”

Fred Alan was originally told that if he waited a few days and made sure he did not watch “Deadliest Catch”  -  his head might return to normal.  But now… it looks like he will be half-tuna, half-man for the foreseeable future.

Fred was seen walking around Journal Square in Jersey City earlier today.  He was greeting passengers on the Path train – telling them that the bluefin tuna was in danger of going extinct.  He was not warmly received – and several Path passengers grabbed fishing poles, tried to reel him in.  Though my hook caught him temporarily, he got away.

Authorities fear that an angry Fred may go out and try to attack tuna eaters in Jersey City and across the state.  Nobody has seen him in twenty-five hours.  Is he planning an attack?  Is he in hiding?   Is there enough mayo in town to handle Fred?

WWN will, or course, keep you updated on the whereabouts of Fred Alan – Tuna Boy.

ALEXANDRIA, MN -  A mystery carcass was found in Douglas County.  Nobody knows what it is or how it got there.

The dead white mammal was spotted this week on a Douglas County road with five claws, dark tufts of hair on its back and head and long toenails.

Roadkill is nothing new for Minnesotans, who are used to weird dead mammals being found on the side of the road.

Lacey Ilse said she was driving near her home on County Road 86, south of Alexandria, when she spotted the mysterious mammal.

“We saw something in the middle of the road, and we knew it wasn’t a dog or a cat, because it didn’t have hair. It had a clump of hair and all the rest was just white skin,” Ilse said.“it’s ear was all mis-shaped. To me, it looked like half-human.”

Ilse said she soon posted pictures of the animal on Facebook, and rumors and speculation took off.

“It just shot out like wildfire. everybody was putting it on their Facebook pages. And then, their friends were putting it on their pages,” she said.

Noelle Jones sent the pictures to KSAX Monday, and after posting them on the KSAX Facebook page  that night, more than 175 comments have been posted about the unusual animal, with guesses ranging from a skunk, badger, wolverine, wolf, or even proof of the mythical chupacabra.

Folks in Alexandria Wednesday had their own ideas.

“First guess was a badger with like, a case of mange. But then, some other people were saying, like a chupacabra. and after looking at some pictures, I was like, ‘you know, it’s possible,” Jones said.

“It kinda looks like a 10-year-old wolf,” Austin Becker of Alexandria said.

“Almost looks like a pig, with paws? I don’t know, or a wolf,” Kaitlin Van Horn of Morris said.

Glenwood DNR Area Wildlife Supervisor Kevin Kotts used the process of elimination to give his answer.

“It’s got five long front claws on each of its front feet, which would be characteristic of  a badger,” Kotts said.  Kotts said.  “I ran teh pictures past a few other DNR folks that have a lot of trapping and/or  fur-bare experience, and they all said that it ir’s hard to be 100 percent sure what it is… but if it’s a Minnesota animal, it’s probably a badger.

But forensic biologists  have confirmed that it’s definitely NOT a badger.

But Ilse, and just about everyone else who has seen it, can’t be so sure.

“If you’re looking at the top half, it definitely looks like a dog that’s kind of been torn apart. But, I’m not sure what to make of the back part,” Igor Simanovich of the Twin Cities said.

“It’s a strange animal and i hope we don’t have anymore around here,” Jane Murphy of Alexandria said.

“You know how they do their government secret testing on animals? and I know it sounds crazy, but I’ve never seen an animal like this,” Ilse said

Jason Abraham, with the Department of Natural Resources, said he thinks it may be a domestic dog, but he is still left with questions.

“The head suggests a canine, very likely a domestic dog,” Abraham said. “However, the right front foot appears to have five toes, which is not typical for canines. Also, the long toenails are not typical for an active canine.”

Ilse said some of her guinea hens and cats are missing and suspects the animal or others in the area may be to blame. Several burrowed holes ranging from four to ten inches in size were also spotted near where the animal was found.

Ilse said Kotts was able to check the creature out Wednesday afternoon and said it’s similar to a badger but has a much longer tail than usual, and took the carcass in for further testing.

Joe Nielsen and Laurie Stribling

Watch the trailer for Bat Boy: Going Mutant!

Bat Boy will soon be the biggest star Hollywood has ever known!  Meanwhile, buy the book!

Here’s the trailer for BAT BOY: GOING MUTANT.   Will it be a movie soon?   Ahhhh, stay tuned….

A GIANT 55 foot sea monster’has been found washed up on a beach in China.
The beast from the deep is so badly decayed it cannot be identified.  It has been nicknamed The Mao Monster – because marine biologists say it probably is the most deadly sea creature to ever live.

According to local reports from Guangdong, in the south-east of the country, it weighed at least 4.5 TONS.

One fisherman, known only as Hwang, 66, said he was astonished by the find.
People have flocked to see the creature — despite the rotting corpse’s foul stench.

It was found tangled in ropes and one theory is fisherman caught it but could not land it as it was so big.

Beware the Mao Monster!!

IRVING, TX  – Feral hogs are attacking people in this town.  Thirty-seven dead – so far.

Neighbors in this Dallas suburb are scared to death – a packs of hefty feral hogs are on the loose.  They are destroying property and killing pets and… people!  The death toll is rising every day!

“We thought that these kind of hogs would stay in rural areas,” Texas Agriculture Commissioner Caleb Millbank said Thursday in Irving, where the city has captured nearly 250 feral hogs since October when they first were discovered roaming around.  “They get more aggressive every day.  There’s still over 500 deadly hogs roaming around this town.”

Arlington and Dallas are among cities along the Trinity River that also have reported problems with wild hogs that weigh several hundred pounds.

Wildlife officials say the hogs are dangerous and that citizens should not try to approach the hogs.  Texas has up to 2 million of the hairy beasts, about half the nation’s population, and state officials say they cause about $400 million in damage each year.  But this is the first time that they have attacked – and killed – people.

Although not all feral hogs have tusks, for years the animals have been a menace in rural areas by shredding cornfields, eating calves and goring humans — even breaking through barbed-wire fences, said Texas Farm Bureau spokesman Harlan Booker.

“They can do more damage than a bulldozer or a ninja,” Booker said.

Methods to stop the problem have failed, including a pig birth-control pill studied by a veterinarian and researcher. The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service is considering allowing hunters in helicopters to shoot wild hogs at a wildlife refuge in Central Texas, saying they keep destroying the habitat.

The Obama Administration is considering sending in the U.S. Army to hunt and kill the hogs.  “Texas just doesn’t have resources to handle these killer beasts,” said White House Press Secretary, Jay Carney.

FORT LAUDERDALE, FL – After years of hiding out in Everglades National Park, Skunk Ape is having a coming out party.

For the past twenty years stories have been told in South Florida about the hideous and vile smelling skunk ape who preys upon deer, fox, alligators, and sometimes even humans.

Skunk Ape has returned!

He has been described as a mix of  an ape and a skunk, Bigfoot and a dirty diaper, and Danny Devito without the farting noises. Though, without photos verifying proof or anyone sober verifying proof, for that matter, it has not been brought to the public’s attention, until today.

Skunk Ape is looking to get out of the swamp and into girl’s bikinis. He has been sighted up and down Fort Lauderdale Beach and some have claimed to even see him as far south as Miami. He has been drinking, dancing, and “getting dirty” some have claimed as they have seen him carousing the sand looking for dance partners and drinking buddies.

Kim Cloisters, from Delray Beach, came in town last weekend and noticed a huge pile of hair swaying back and forth to techno music. “At first I was a little afraid when he approached, but once you get past the smell, he is pretty similar to any other guy from Jersey that hasn’t been waxed in a while.”

In fact, the Skunk Ape seems to be the life of the party down in South Florida these days. Aside from two reports of dogs missing on the beaches, there have been no complaints about this seemingly lovable oaf. He has even gotten a few affectionate nicknames, the main two being Harry and Odie, short for odorous I expect.

Looks like Skunk Ape, from the pictures and stories swirling around Fort Lauderdale, seems to have found himself a new home.

HACKENSACK -  The blizzard attracts The Abominable Snowman to New Jersey!
The Yeti, commonly referred to as The Abominable Snowman, is normally thought to inhabit the mountainous regions of Asia. However, but due to Snowpocalypse the Yeti has come to Hackensack, New Jersey.

Many speculate that the species left its native Asia years ago due to humans encroaching on its territory and has since traveled across the Bering Strait seeking refuge in North America. Sightings, until now, have been seen as far east as Redwater, Canada.

“It is a popular misconception that there is only one yeti. The same misconception is applied to bigfoot,” explains renowned cryptozoologist Dr. Simon Higenbottom. “How would we be able to have continued sightings if there was only one?”

Dr. Higenbottom further confirmed that not only do many yetis exist but that their mating season is in the fall and winter as well.

The conditions of today’s blizzard are the ideal environments for the yeti mating rituals as the yeti relies on its sense of smell to find other yeti. The high winds associated with a blizzard aid the yeti in finding a suitable mate.

Bill Hunter, of Hackensack, happened to be at the right place at just the right time to capture this picture of the ever allusive yeti mating ritual.

“It was the most disgusting thing I have ever witnessed in my entire life. The sound was terribly disturbing and the smell, it was, it was…sorry I just threw up in my mouth a little from thinking about that putrid smell,” stated Mr. Hunter.

Dr. Higenbottom will be interviewing Mr. Hunter and several others who were lucky enough to witness the mating of the yeti to help further his studies. Higenbottom hopes to have a paper published on the mating rituals of the yeti in the journal Cryptozoology Today in the coming months.

There’s Yeti Love in New Jersey!

[PHOTOS taken by BOY  MACK]