Seeking to further disrupt Town Hall health care meetings Republicans have sent in their secret weapon, Manigator!

NEW ORLEANS, LA – After an altercation with police Monday night, the half-man half-alligator mutant Manigator has been banned from Tuesday’s Mardi Gras celebrations.

NEW YORK, NY – Britney Spears’ “Circus” has topped the charts this week, and she is ready to celebrate!

LOS ANGELES, CA – Britney Spears has finally broken free of her keepers!

NEW YORK, NY – Macy’s 150th annual Thanksgiving Day Parade drew thousands to New York City yesterday including one unwelcome guest, Manigator.

CHICAGO, IL – President-Elect Barack Obama will soon be appointing members to his cabinet, and insiders are predicting one surprising addition.

Obatma’s half-brother, Barack Obama, has received the political endorsement of America’s favorite precocious mutant: Bat Boy.

At a shocking press conference this morning, Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama announced that he has a half-man half-bat half-brother.

UPDATE: At a pivotal moment in the nation’s history, America’s newest Deputy Treasury Secretary, Bat Boy, was nowhere to be found. This revelation sent shockwaves through the market and Washington D.C. on Monday.

Where was Bat Boy? He had scurried off to see his favorite band, Vampire Weekend, play a secret show in Brooklyn on Saturday night. He watched and devoured mosquitoes while the nation burned.