SENECA FALLS, W.VA – America’s favorite mutant was spotted in line this weekend to see the movie Milk. A West Virginia equal rights group invited the boy to help promote their message of equal rights for all, including mutants.

The atmosphere outside of West Virginia’s first showing of Milk was festive, like an Appalachian Mardi Gras.  People from throughout the state congregated outside the Seneca Falls 6 Movie Theater and Dry Cleaners, the largest theater in the state, to support the movie’s message of equal rights and tolerance.  Bat Boy was very excited for the opportunity to make friends.

Milk is a new movie about the life of Harvey Milk, the first openly gay elected official.  The West Virginia based equal rights group Appalachians Embracing Diversity sponsored the event, inviting members of the state’s LGBT and mutant communities.  Bat Boy soon seemed at home surrounded by people who didn’t hide being different.

The tragic drama starring Sean Penn may have been too much for the precocious boy’s attention span, as halfway through the showing Bat Boy was seen in the parking lot catching mosquitoes with two drag queens and a lizard man.

NEW YORK, NY – Bat Boy was spotted taking part in Proposition 8 protests this past weekend.

All across the country, citizens united in protest of California’s Proposition 8 to strictly define marriage between a man and a woman, as well as other anti-same-sex marriage laws that were passed on November 4.

Bat Boy was seen outside City Hall with “PROP 8″ with an X through it painted across his chest. While Bat Boy was unable to convey his feelings through words, he did send his high-pitched squeaks of dissent echoing across the plaza.

Many mutants turned out for these protests. Mutant rights organizers explained that a number of mutants, such as the Manigator, are born from interspecial relations. Legalizing gay marriage is one step closer to allowing these unconventional unions to be officially recognized.

Manigator was not present at the rallies, as he was too busy getting “tore up” with his sewer alligator cousins.

WASHINGTON, D.C. -The U.S. military has found a race of Mole People, and may be planning to exploit them!

Weekly World News has uncovered the shocking discovery of a race of underground Mole People living 20 miles beneath the Earth, using secret tunnels to enter the United States.

This discovery was made not by archaeologists, but by military scientists tunneling deep inside the Earth – and an insider has leaked exclusive photos and information about these “cave people”.

“We’re not even sure how many of them there are. We’ve only seen one city so far, with an estimated 2,000 Mole People in residence. But there may be several million of them living in sprawling and cavernous underground cities, scattered beneath the Earth’s surface.”

The military is reportedly eager to study the Mole People. “We want to find out everything about them — what they eat, how they live, and, most importantly, what is their relationship to the human race.”

But some citizens believe the government has ulterior motives. John Sangaard, a mutant rights activist, said, “Think about it: what of the crucial oil and mineral reserves below the surface? Who owns them, the Mole People or us? America is desperate for domestic oil right now. I have no doubt that the government is looking to exploit these poor creatures.”

There may be worse possibilities. According to the source, the military “stumbled on” the underground civilization in September while running a classified project that may have involved spying on China.

“Will they try and use the mole people to dig into enemy countries?” asked Sangard. “Use them for surveillance? We need to fight our own wars. How typically human to misuse our newfound brothers for selfish means.”