NEW YORK, NY – Fox News stated yesterday that America is not pure since people marry “other species and ethnics.” Mutants around the country are now up in arms.

WASILLA, AK – Sarah Palin resigned as Governor of Alaska last week. In a startling press conference, she has revealed her new mission: hunting Bigfoot.

LEON, SAMOA – A Fiji Mermaid was denied federal student aid, and debate over mutant and Islander rights has exploded.