MOSCOW – A new book reveals that Russia purposely stranded 3 gay cosmonauts on the moon in 1987.

SAN BERNARDINO – The McDonald’s Corporation announced its plans to expand the franchise into unchartered territory. They’re building a Mickey D’s on the moon!

BEIJING – China is plotting to blow up the moon.

WASHINGTON, DC – Glenn Beck told his audience last night that he is related to Martin Luther King, Jr.

I’m madder than an astronaut who’s run out of Tang!