MINNESOTA – Authorities report the first official sighting of Gootans in America. Deer Hunters shot at these aliens.

LOS ANGELES – Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries have reconciled and plan to re-marry on New Year’s Eve.

DECORAH, IOWA – There was an Elvis sighting on President Obama’s tour of the midwest!

ALEXANDRIA, MN. – A mystery carcass was found in Douglas County. Nobody knows what it is or how it got there.

GREAT FALLS, MT. – Walter Breuning, the world’s oldest man at 115, died Thursday.

ROCHESTER, MN – A 15 1/2 pound baby was born in Minnesota last week!

SAVAGE, MN – The Minnesota Vikings’ quarterback has more going for him than just skills.

ST. PAUL, MN – Minnesotans have turned to schoolyard protocol in a last ditch effort to solve their Senate conundrum.

ST. PAUL, MN – The Lizard People have come forward to officially cast their vote for Al Franken.

MINNEAPOLIS, MN – After the presidential election went off without a hitch, many citizens were hoping the Chaos Cloud would vanish. But it isn’t satisfied just yet.