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DEER HUNTERS SHOOT AT ALIENS
MINNESOTA – Authorities report the first official sighting of Gootans in America. Deer Hunters shot at these aliens.
KIM KARDASHIAN AND KRIS HUMPHRIES – BACK TOGETHER!
LOS ANGELES – Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries have reconciled and plan to re-marry on New Year’s Eve.
ELVIS SPOTTED ON OBAMA’S BUS TOUR
DECORAH, IOWA – There was an Elvis sighting on President Obama’s tour of the midwest!
MYSTERY ROADKILL
ALEXANDRIA, MN. – A mystery carcass was found in Douglas County. Nobody knows what it is or how it got there.
WORLD’S OLDEST MAN DIES
GREAT FALLS, MT. – Walter Breuning, the world’s oldest man at 115, died Thursday.
15 POUND BABY
ROCHESTER, MN – A 15 1/2 pound baby was born in Minnesota last week!
TARVARIS JACKSON A REAL VIKING
SAVAGE, MN – The Minnesota Vikings’ quarterback has more going for him than just skills.
ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS, SENATE!
ST. PAUL, MN – Minnesotans have turned to schoolyard protocol in a last ditch effort to solve their Senate conundrum.
LIZARD PEOPLE PLEDGE VOTE FOR FRANKEN
ST. PAUL, MN – The Lizard People have come forward to officially cast their vote for Al Franken.
CHAOS CLOUD WATCHES OVER RECOUNT
MINNEAPOLIS, MN – After the presidential election went off without a hitch, many citizens were hoping the Chaos Cloud would vanish. But it isn’t satisfied just yet.
