WASHINGTON – The White House announced today that Michelle Obama is pregnant with the couple’s third child.

CHAPEL HILL, NC – Nutrition expert, Dr. Nicholas Perricone, has added Twinkies to his list of superfoods.

WASHINGTON – The Obama Administration has formed the world’s first Fat Police unit. They’re mission: arrest the obese.

WASHINGTON, DC – President Obama issued an Executive Order banning the production and/or consumption of French Fries!

NEW YORK — First lady Michelle Obama will play in the women’s final at the U.S. Open.

PATERSON, NJ – Chris Christie and Barack Obama have inked a deal to play Abbott & Costello in a remake of a classic film – Abbott & Costello meet Frankenstein.

BLACK ROCK CITY – The Obamas are going to Burning Man to celebrate the President’s 50th Birthday and extend their vacation.

CHICAGO – Barack Obama turned 50 today. He joined AARP and got his discount card.

WASHINGTON – After a man was detained by the Secret Service for jumping a fence at the White House – Charlie Sheen jumped over, too.

Bowing to pressure from health advocates and the government, McDonald’s is putting “happy” in the Happy Meal.