WASHINGTON, DC – Michael Moore said that his next documentary will prove that Jesus was gay.

Speaking at Georgetown University in Washington, D.C. Friday, Michael Moore, told the audience that he is  working hard on his next documentary, currently entitled – “Jesus Was Gay.”

“I know more about religion than anybody on the planet, including the Pope,” the filmmaker, wearing his trademark trucker cap, told an auditorium comprised of a few hundred students, faculty and news media.

The liberal filmmaker was invited to the Catholic school to discuss his book, “Here Comes Trouble.” But he also spoke at length about health care, young voters’ disenchantment with President Barack Obama and the need for the wealthy to pay higher taxes. He said affluent Americans “seemed happy” when their income was taxed at a higher rate (“60 and 70 percent”).

Moore, who was raised Catholic, used Christian themes throughout his speech.  He then made his surprising comment:

“You know those 12 men Jesus was always hanging out with?” he said to laughter. “You know what that means.” He went to explain that it wasn’t a joke and that he has done extensive documentary research and talked to people that have examined artifacts that prove Jesus was gay.  Moore even talked about Jesus loving musicals.  “He was a real song-and-dance man,” Moore  said.

Moore made a few more provocative comments during the question-and-answer portion of his talk. When asked by a student, if Moore himself was gay, Moore shouted back.  “Hell no!!”  He later clarified his statement, saying he would like to be gay, but no  gay man would have him because he is a big, fat slob.

Another student asked about the 2004 documentary, “Michael Moore Hates America” and why Moore declined to participate in it. Moore said he doesn‘t hate America and those who disagree with his political views don’t either.

“I assume Republicans love this country. I start with that assumption,” he said.

Moore said his “Jesus Was Gay” documentary will be out in time for Christmas this year.  “It’s my gift to Christians.” Moore said.

HAVANA – Fidel Castro admitted that the Cuban system doesn’t work and hopped a raft for America.

Fidel Castro told an American journalist that the Cuban economic model doesn’t work. The former Cuban president made the jaw-dropping comment to WWN.  The ailing Cuban leader’s remarks came almost as an aside over lunch recently in Havana.

“The Cuban model doesn’t even work anymore, and never has,” Castro told WWN.   We were stunned by his comment and were not sure we heard him correctly so asked the interpreter if Castro was, in fact, denouncing the Cuban Revolution and his five decades of dictatorship.

“Yes,” Juanita Hidalgo, Castro’s interpreter said.  “He has rejected the ideas of the Revolution and was acknowledging that the Cuban model is wrong and has always been wrong.  The state should not have a big role in the economic life of this country or any country.”

Castro went on to say that he felt President Barack Obama, was turning America into Cuba.  “He is a dictator, like myself.  But he is growing the government too big.  It will destroy America as a world power.”  Castro went on to denounce Mahmoud Ahmadinejad for his views on the “Jews.”  He also denounced Mel Gibson.  “The man is a fool.  I ordered my people to destroy all Mel Gibson films in Cuba.  Except Braveheart.  I love Braveheart.”

Castro, faced with the dilemma of renouncing the Cuban government, while still being its de facto leader, decided to hop on a raft and head for Miami.  “He just left the building and had his driver take him to the beach.  He hopped on a raft with about thirty other Cubans looking for freedom,” Hidalgo said.

Castro, though sick for years, still needed five Cubans to counter-balance him on the other side of the makeshift raft.  Cubans lined the beaches and watched Castro and his crew float away toward America.

Raul Castro, Fidel’s brother and the President of the Cuban Council of State, was deciding whether to send the army out to sea to get his brother.  “My brother has lost his mind.  The Cuban way of life is the best in the world, just ask Michael Moore.”   Several reporters challenged Raul on his assertion, but before he could answer the reporters were taken outside and shot.

“Never trust the media. That’s the first rule for any good government,” said Raul.

Fidel Castro is expected to wash ashore in Miami this Saturday.   First one to spot him wins… Gloria Estefan’s latest CD!

I feel as crazy as a bedbug in a cat house!

Some days it just doesn’t pay for old Ed Anger to get up out of his Sleep Number Bed, grab an instant coffee and switch on the computer machine.

How can so many crazy things be going on in this world? I see Mrs. Teleprompter wore leopard skin for Halloween – which is NOT racist! – but her husband went as a skeleton, from the looks of him!

That fancy pizza he gets flown over to the White House must be sprinkled with All Bran!

The headlines at the Sludge Report just get worse. Seems the ChiComs had to use fake snow to make it look like winter. Heck, they should of just invited Al Gore to visit Chinkland – everywhere Mr. Global Warming goes, it snows!

Meanwhile, we’re sending atomic monkeys into space. Haven’t these pinhead scientist ever watched the late show? Now we’re gonna be crushed by giant apes in no time! This is where my tax dollars go to: giving glow-in-the-dark chimps a free trip to the moon!

My ulcer can’t take all this craziness!

Speaking of crazy, they say some Hollywood big shot is making a new movie about that guy all the A-rabs pray to. I’m old enough to remember the last time they made a picture about Momar or whatever his name is: they didn’t show the big guy’s face and so forth, but a bunch of A-rabs blew up the guy who made the movie anyhow.

Now if only that fatso Michael Moore was the guy making the movie – maybe they could kill two tons of flab with one stoning!