MEXICO CITY – A Zeeban spaceship was spotted over the city!

Tom Rose of gather.com reported:

“Unique UFO footage of an object hovering over Mexico City, and filmed from two different angles, has been enhanced and poses more questions than answers. What is it?

The two videos are strung together in a 4-minute sequence with a magnified image in the lower right corner. The OVNI mystified witnesses for days after it was first posted on YouTube on March 13, 2012. Without the enhancements, it’s easier to say it’s just a balloon, but even without the magnification no one was able to explain how the object hovered in one place for so long.

The enhanced version dispels any notion that the object is a balloon as it changes shape, displays onboard lights and what look like the windows of a ship.

The video has been compiled by an organization investigating UFO sightings, and some spooky dramatic music has been added to amplify the atmosphere. Although the music unintentionally dampens serious analysis of the video, it still leaves one questioning what this unidentified flying object really is.”

Tom Rose, gather.com

WWN, however, has spoken to Dr. John Malley of the U.N. Panel on Extraterrestrials and he has confirmed that there was a alien spaceship from Planet Zeeba over Mexico City.

“We sent members of our team to Mexico City to examine the video and to do field research and they confirm that the Zeebans have been observing the Mexicans.  It is nothing for the Mexican people to be alarmed about.  The Zeebans are here on our planet to help us make it a better planet.”

All is well…

Here’s the video:

10,000 Mexican “undead”  walked through the streets of Mexico City looking for brains to eat.

At first they thought it was just Mexicans trying to have some fun, trying to break the Guinness World Record for the largest zombie gathering, but then something odd happened – REAL zombies showed up.

Last year, a group in Brisbane, Australia, set the record fot the most zombies at one gathering:  8,000.

So, Mexicans thought they could beat it.  9,000 Mexicans showed up dressed as Zombies, but were soon attacked by over 2,000 REAL zombies, that killed over 355 of the costumed zombies.

“That is the danger of such dress-up games,” said Mexico City Police Chief, Diego Marquez.  ”Zombies are real and when the people dress up, it just aggravates the real zombies and we have the tragedy that unfold last weekend.  It is a very sad day for Mexico.”

Most of the people attacked were young men and women.   Typically a victim would be surrounded by four or five REAL zombies and then they would snap the neck of the victim and then eat the victim’s brains.  Two hours later the victim would join the other zombies and attack more people.

“It is not a game.  We have many zombies in Mexico City and we’ve done our best to contain them.  But now… it is out of control,” said Marquez.

Some cultural observers believe the phenomenon could be linked to the ongoing global economic crisis, or is perhaps a reaction to consumerist ideals.

Drug gangs also took advantage of the “Day of the Dead”  and went on shooting rampages throughout Mexico City.

ALBUQUERQUE, NM – Sew another star on the flag.  Mexico will become our 51st state in 2012.

State and congressional leaders from California, Arizona, Texas and New Mexico say it’s the only way to solve America’s massive illegal immigration problem.

“Keep the Mexicans from sneaking across the border is like trying to shoo flies off a hog’s back.  We might as well make them U.S. citizens and try to get a little tax money out of the,” said a source close to Texas Gov. Rick Perry.

Officials of the four states bordering Mexico are secretly gathering statehood support for that country because they bear most of the cost of illegal immigration.  President  Obama is fully behind the initiative.

“Pregnant women enter the U.S. illegally so their babies will be born here – and thus become American citizens,” said a congressman who is spearheading the move to Mexican statehood. “Mexican men slip across the border to work.  And a few of them wind up in jail, costing us more than they spend here.

“We’re tired of U.S. taxpayers footing the bill to provide schooling, medical and other help for illegal aliens because the federal government doesn’t enforce our immigration laws,” he added.

The U.S. already spends billions of dollars each year for aid to Mexico’s impoverished 92 million people.

Then, of course there’s NAFTA and the recent Mexican financial bailout that is costing Americans a bundle.

Mexicans are jumping at a chance for U.S. statehood, say sources.  72 percent of Mexicans say they would welcome become a state in the United States.

Some Republicans are objecting to the initiative.  “We should we make them Americans?  Just so they can siesta all day, draw welfare checks, eat tacos and won’t have to worry about border guards leaning on them.  It’s ridiculous.  We’re the only Americans in North America!”

The fruit and vegetable growers strongly oppose statehood for Mexico, afraid that their workers may stay in Mexico.  But, many believe that everybody will benefit from statehood for Mexico.

One sponsor of the bill in the White House said, “the Border Patrol is tired of grabbing illegal immigrants and sending them back to Mexico, and the ones already here, live in fear of being captured, like pre-World War II Germany when the Jewish people had to wear the star of David bands on their arms to announce they were Jewish rather than German. Germans were the ones attempting to make a distinct.  Mexicans are already living and working in the United States. Most of them are working in hospitals, restaurants, landscaping and other service industries. Instead of playing tag at the border with illegal immigrants, it would be simpler to make Mexico the 51st state!”

“Changing border boundaries would eliminate the need to patrol the border and would save a lot of money. Then too, Americans wanting to vacation in Can Cun or other tropical paradises in Mexico, could freely travel to those spots. Then there would be no need to patrol the southern United States border any longer.

“Civil liberties and lifestyles would greatly improve for all Mexicans as the United States could spend its middle east war money on a worthwhile cause – namely, bring Mexico up to the same standard of living as what the Americans have already.”

Say Hola to the new citizens of the United States!!

MEXICO CITY – On Monday, lawmakers in Mexico City passed a bill to legalize gay marriage.  By Tuesday the city was in flames.

Politicians were excited over the new legislation, which passed to cheers of “Yes we could!  Yes we could!”  Unfortunately the passage of gay marriage triggered the downfall of society like it always does.

Once gay marriage was approved family units within the affected legal district immediately began to break down.  Parents abandoned their children to pursue their own hedonistic pursuits.  Children stopped respecting any authority and began loitering rampantly.  Grandparents rolled themselves into the streets to inspire panic.

Violence and disco erupted in the streets and by Tuesday Mexico City was a giant flaming mess.  Extras from a nearby film set dressed as Aztecs ran rampant and have re-dedicated the temple to Quetzalcoatl, the feathered serpent god.  Riot police were no match and were beaten back to the city limits as the fires and dancing continued well into the night.

This is only the latest of this unfortunate trend.  Other cities like Washington D.C. and Thessaloniki, Greece, have attempted to pass same sex marriage bills, all with similar results.  Thessaloniki could not pass counter legislation in time and fell into the sea.

Conservative politicians within Mexico City warned of the dangers of passing a bill allowing gay marriage.  Their cries went unheeded and the bill passed 32-20.  Now with civilization being torn apart they are the only hope.  Bills are being drafted and Aztec style blood sacrifices are all being used to try and correct the damage.

Mexico’s capital continues to be enveloped by chaos, emergency legislation is expected to repair most of the damage before New Years

MEXICO CITY – The Mexican navy has discovered more than one ton of cocaine – in the bodies of frozen sharks!

Navy officers searched a container ship  at a port in the southern state of Yucatan after becoming suspicious of its contents. They cut open more than 20 frozen shark carcasses to find slabs of cocaine hidden inside!

“Those in charge of the shipment said it was a conserving agent but after checks we confirmed it was cocaine,” Navy Commander Eduardo Villa told reporters. X-ray machines and sniffer dogs were used to find the hidden drugs on the ship.

Officers were not greatly surprised by the discovery, as drug gangs are becoming more creative with their smuggling techniques. President Felipe Calderon has been cracking down on drug cartels that move narcotics from South and Central American countries through Mexico up into the United States. This has led gangs to use more original containers, such as sealed beer cans, furniture and even religious statues!

The Navy has yet to release details on where the sharks were being delivered and to whom.

MEXICO CITY – Cinco de Mayo celebrations will proceed in Mexico.  Adjustments are being made to counter the lingering threat of swine flu.

Mexico was the epicenter for recent swine flu which has garnered international headlines.  Attempting to contain the virus, Mexico shut down schools and offices around the country, to great effect.

Cinco de Mayo is a celebration of a military defeat over the French in 1862.  Within the country there is a minor holiday, however abroad it is a day of celebrating Mexican heritage and culture for many.  Mexico hopes to encourage celebration in a safe way that does not put anyone at risk of contamination.

Police will allow people in Mexico City to come out of their homes for the first time in weeks.  Celebrants will be able to gather in the streets, but authorities will be enforcing a 10 foot (3 meter) personal space rule.  Bans on greeting or acknowledging friends and acquaintances will remain in effect.

In affluent suburbs that were not nearly so hard hit, children wearing surgical masks will gather around piñatas filled with Tamiflu and hand sanitizer.

Parades will go on like usual, however all participants will be required Haz-Mat suits and industrial strength gas masks.  The Miss Mexico float and the Church of Scientology are among the few confirmed to be marching.  An all Haz-Mat children’s dance performance will also proceed as scheduled.

State television will air reruns of last years festivities, along with a leaked version of the Wolverine movie to make up for the inconvenience.