Wal-Mart inked a deal to pay the U.S. government $25 million a year to rename our galaxy.

AMSTERDAM – Lab-grown burgers are now a reality!

Bowing to pressure from health advocates and the government, McDonald’s is putting “happy” in the Happy Meal.

WASHINGTON – The U.S. Justice Department has ordered Ronald McDonald put to death.

OAK BROOK, IL – James A. Skinner, CEO of McDonald’s, served up a whopper when he announced that Ronald McDonald is gay.

SAN BERNARDINO – The McDonald’s Corporation announced its plans to expand the franchise into unchartered territory. They’re building a Mickey D’s on the moon!

ELECTION 2010 – Big loser: marijuana. Big winner: the McRib!

TOLEDO – A crazed burger killer is on the loose in Ohio – stabbing cheeseburgers across the state.

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – The SF homeless will not stand by and let the dollar menu disappear!

NEW YORK, NY – The king has a new home – and we’re not talking about LeBron James!